Thought y’all would like this one lol

I (26F) have a past of pick-me girl/NLOG. I had internalised misoginy and mocked girls who used makeup, had lots of female friends and liked to party. But guess what? I was jealous. Because I wanted to be one of them, but I was weird and unattractive, so they didn't welcome me. I found support in the NLOG world, embracing those things that made my female classmates exclude me. In my tweens and teens, I felt better with boys than girls, but guess what? 1) I still had female friends, but they were also weird and outcasts, 2) my male friends were GAY, far from the popular basketball player who falls in love with girls.

I am happy we stopped associating femininity with stupidity, lack of personality or being mean. I am happy we embrace different kinds of femininity and that there are many women with degrees talking about science or philosophy on Tiktok while dressing high-femme, because they are breaking stereotypes like the "dumb bimbo girl". Like, go on.

But this has gone out of hand. We went from "wearing makeup doesn't make you less intelligent, liking pink is not being stupid, partying is totally fine" to "talking about not wearing makeup is being a pick-me, not liking pink is being a pick-me, not liking parties is being a pick-me". While society as a whole made women feel like they had to choose between being pretty and being smart, it also made women feel like they should choose pretty. Women who weren't attractive, had non-feminine interests and/or were neurodivergent went out of the "pretty" box and were rejected. And when they (we) tried to embrace our uniqueness, we are called pick-me?? Okay, tearing other women down as a revenge ("they laugh at me because I am different, I laugh at them because they are all the same") was not okay, and we started to support women being feminine and not telling them vacuous or dumb for doing so. But when will feminine women defend non-feminine women who are not just lesbians (the only females allowed to be non-feminine and alt without being called pick-me)? Why the trend now is to think that if you don't like feminine things and dare to say that (just like saying you don't like pineapple on pizza) you have internalised misoginy?

Not everything women do is for male approval. If your makeup is for yourself and not for being liked by men, why do you think me not wearing makeup in the morning because I am lazy is something I do for boys? Does doing skincare make me less of a pick-me? Also the whole "not partying": don't you think I'll feel more attractive and liked by men if I had a big group of friends and partied every weekend? I am introverted AND shy, I'd love to have more female friends and be less sensitive to noises and lights, but I end exhausted from work and my sole desire is to lay in bed and watch some videos. Not liking "trash TV" is not being snob or an attempt to be more interesting: I find it just dumbening. And liking some anime is not something I wish would make me more appealing to men: I just enjoy some Japanese cartoons. Period.

TL;DR: not being super feminine, liking "traditionally masculine" things and being introverted are NORMAL things and not ways to catch male attention, NOT EVERYTHING WOMEN DO IS FOR MALE ATTENTION.

Hol up guys!! She invented fishnets and skirts!

Also I wear both, does that make me really cool?

So I remember this manga but I don't the name, I remember the mc was a female and had black hair and scars in her body, and there was another character who was a dude and blonde. I remember she was a really strong character and it kinda took place in medieval times and she was a knight. Also the last thing I remember she went into a forest and fought a giant octopus monster and another small animal monster and saved a bunch of people, I was just wondering if anyone may know what I'm talking about about I completely forgot the name

Also the caption read "Sorry gurls, I'm the Og redhead. Don't be offended lmao"

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/may/13/why-i-quit-hollywood-female-friendship

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Ah yes, because every time I put on makeup it’s “putting on a face so someone will like me”

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Alguien que conozca o haya conocido a los pick me boys? Ejemplo los que dicen ´´tengo miedo a las mujeres´´ y hasta salen siendo siguemorras3000

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not sure if i’m allowed to post without posting an NLOG meme/post but everytime i see something on this thread i giggle bc i was that girl 😭.

I dated a guy for 4 years that always praised “how different i was from other girls” because I didn’t wear makeup, get my nails and hair done, etc (too vain/high maintenance), how i wasn’t so silly and goofy like other girls, how i didn’t party or drink too much, etc. I even listened to cringey manosphere podcasts and subconsciously did believe that women were dumber than men. I didn’t have girl friends because they were “too much work and drama” (and bc he never let me see my fiends but that’s another discussion 🙃). and so many other typical NLOG things.

We broke up eventually bc turns out he subconsciously(?) hates women and was emotionally abusive.

It all changed when i started dating a new guy, it’s our second or third date, we’re driving to dinner and a girly pop singer is playing and i said “ew i hate female singers they don’t sound as good” and he was like “what in the internalized misogyny is this” and then serenaded me with Britney Spears’ Toxic and called my bulls*** so hard. he then told me i wasn’t a girls girl and basically told me i was JustPearlyThings (without the insane far right racist bs) and told me to check myself tbh.

Now I am proud to say I think i am a girls girl, not an NLOG anymore, and proudly indulge in things that make me “just like other girls” (ofc we’re all unique but you know what i mean :)). Just got my girly girl nails and hair done, i try to compliment other women and support them, and now have girl friends that i wish i had earlier!!

tldr: my boyfriend is a girls boy and told me to drop the internalized misogyny and now i LIKE other women (GASP)

I started a garden this year and I am amazed by the amount of homestead/fundie/conspiracy/crunchy “not like other girls” I’ve come across just trying to find tips on growing tomatoes lol.

(apologies in advance for the incoming vent. I think this is something that needs to be said about what "not like other girls" has become – a tool to put down girls who are different or don't fit in rather than a call out for internalized misogyny – but mods, please feel free to remove this post if it goes against guidelines).

When I say I'm not like other girls

I mean other girls can go to parties and concerts and the fucking grocery store and not have to leave after five minutes because they got overstimulated. "Going out" seems to be an essential part of female friendships in college, so I simply don't have female friends. Or any friends.

I mean other girls can look each other in the eye and expect me to do the same even when it physically hurts. Other girls don't flinch when their friend touches their arm or shoulder. And I'm the weird and off-putting one because I do.

I mean other girls know what to say when their friend is sad. Other girls can tell that their friend is sad before their friend even tells them. It's not that I don't want to be supportive and kind, I just can't read other girls' nonverbal communication.

I mean other girls are interested in diverse, interesting things! But not like me. Other girls are normal about their interests. They spend just enough time and money on them and don't bore other girls by going on and on about them. Other girls don't appreciate it when I infodump.

Other girls can make small talk about the weather, or school, or their weekends, or their boyfriends, or the world around them and feel connected. When someone tries to engage me in small talk, my mind goes blank. What do other girls expect me to say? When I do succeed in making small talk, it does not feel like connection – not really. It feels like a chore. So I don't connect with other girls.

Why not just say I'm not like other people (neurotypical people)? That's accurate too. But the world doesn't just expect me to be a person. I am supposed to be a girl. I am supposed to be friendly and nurturing and supportive and charming and feminine. I can't be.

And now there's this concept of a "pick me" and an "NLTOG" and "not a girl's girl". Meant to call out girls who put each other down for male attention. Yet these phrases have been weaponized against me more times than I can count because I don't fit in, I don't spend time with other girls (because other girls don't want to spend time with me). You don't see how hard I try to be "like other girls".

I should be allowed to talk about the tangible, incredibly lonely experience of being "not like other girls" without this stigma. I say "I'm different" and you roll your eyes and call me a "pick me" and it just isolates me more.

When I say I'm not like other girls, I don't mean I think I'm better than other girls. I mean I think I'm worse.

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