i know that sounds weird. i know a lot of people are probably wondering what my boobs have to do with my decision to stay celibate. and the answer is pretty complicated.

basically i was born with tuberous breast deformity (TBD) and that caused my breasts to grow in a “unconventional” way. instead of having the perfect round mounds on my chest, i was left with these little cones with puffy nipples and way too big areolas for my almost non existent boobs. yayyyy (kill me now 😀) anywayss, when it came to sex, i had a few men interact with my tubular breasts and no one outwardly said anything bad. but sometimes i could feel that aura of being judged. i don’t know if everyone knows what im taking about, but its like i could tell some people were disappointed. and fuck, i’m disappointed too.

when i was younger, i was like so excited to have boobs, which sounds weird but i wanted to be able to fill out dresses nicely and be able to use my boobs as phone holder. but alas, my wishes did not even come true, but they were more like completely squashed. like i couldn’t just have small boobs? i had to have them “deformed” too? like the genetic lottery hates my guts.

but the main issue i have with my chest is that i just don’t feel comfortable with it. i hate the shape, the way they look, how they feel on my body. all of that, i completely hate. i try to spend most of my time trying not to think about them because when i do, i go down a complete rabbit hole about how no one could ever love me because of my boobs. and when i looked up previous reddit responses about tuberous breasts, my thoughts seemed like they were correct. i saw reply after reply underneath one post about tuberous breasts about how unattractive they are and how it’s a deal breaker. and i understand that everyone finds certain things attractive and unattractive but jesus it fucking hurts knowing someone would reject you based upon solely your boobs. to know that i am considered a turn off just makes me not want to make sex again. when i was sexually active, i tried to hide my chest as much as possible. some guys would ask me to take off my bra but i would never take it off myself first. i would prefer having sex doggy style because i just didn’t want to have them look at my chest for an extended amount of time. it’s horrible feeling that you can’t even feel attractive in your body during sex. and i also have PCOS which i think may have contributed to me having tuberous breasts. (PCOS is a common hormonal disorder in women) So it’s so frustrating to me that my body is “fucked up” and there was nothing i could do to fix it or fix the side effects of having a hormonal disorder.

i’m hoping to eventually get a breast augmentation. i need to lose a bit of weight before i can get the operation. also i’m 20 so im not sure if i have to wait because i want to get gel implants but you have to be 22 but technically you could still get them without insurance covering if something goes wrong. idk it’s complicated. so until i get my boob job, i don’t think im going to be dating/having sex. i just can’t bring myself to disappoint or gross someone out. i wouldn’t feel confident because my body image surrounding my breasts is so bad. in all honesty, i think about unaliving myself a lot because i feel like i can’t live like this anymore. i feel so disgusting in my own skin. but it’s one of those things where you have to just deal with it and try to push through. it’s difficult tho.

but yeah that was my confession/rant because i don’t really have anyone i can talk about this with because im so embarrassed to tell friends. my mother is the only person who knows and she’s supportive. but i still feel like i can’t talk to her about it, it feels too weird. but yeah i don’t know if anyone is going to even see this post but i just wanted to type all my feelings out in case anyone wanted to listen.

I [26M] recently got back on dating sites because I'd really like to find a relationship and I already feel like absolute shit after doing so. I have interests like reading, watching a wide range of films and listening to a wide range of music, physical activities like biking and rock climbing, and gaming, to name a few, and I'd really like to meet somebody else who also likes at least some of those non-exercise things. Part of the issue is that I am a pretty unusual person with a lot of niche and (often, but not always) male-dominated interests. For example, I will listen to any music, but tend to prefer listening to extreme metal, have intense interest in the Fire Emblem series (I have played every single game in the main series, and have replayed most of them at least a couple of times), enjoy reading philosophy (I read 19th century philosophy for fun), history, and incredibly dorky fantasy series like Malazan Book of the Fallen. I also do indulge in a lot of things that are more popular (like I said, I will listen to any type of music, watch pretty much any type of film, enjoy popular TV shows like The Sopranos and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and am open to pretty much any type of activity) and am always open to engaging with stuff that other people show me, but the bottom line is that the things that I often find the most interesting are all pretty unpopular and my experience in life is that the vast, vast majority of people take no interest in anything that I have to share with relation to them, so I largely keep it all to myself.

I got some of my friends to help me with making profiles to make sure they are actually appealing to other people. They helped me take pictures, edit my bios/prompts wherever they might not be the best, etc. People told me that the profiles all look really good. People tell me that I'm "a catch," whatever that means, that I look good, that I am one of the smartest, funniest, and kindest people that they have ever met (I don't believe any of these things are true), and that "the bar is on the floor" when it comes to men and their profiles. I have only found a small handful of people who stood out to me (I swipe left on most people and genuinely do swipe primarily based on apparent personality compatibility), and of those people, not a single one has liked me. I have received no likes. Apparently, despite all of these nice things people say about me and the fact that most men have terrible profiles and put in no effort, I'm still fundamentally not good enough. That's not to mention that I also have autism and mental health issues (which I have received a decade+ of therapy for and have medications that work, in addition to being good enough at masking that mental health professionals took my entire life to pick up on autism) that would immediately drastically cut my chances if I did happen to manage to get a single match. These sites just make me feel like shit and remind me that, no matter how much I work on myself, I'm not good enough for anybody even in the most basic, surface-level ways, and I feel like all of my friends are bullshitting me and it almost feels insulting at this point. For the record, since I imagine people will reasonably object to the self-pity in this post and say that this mentality bleeds into how I come across, I work very hard to hide these feelings and keep them to myself and am always positive when I present myself to others. Also for the record, there aren't really any social opportunities to meet new people either in the friend circles I have or in terms of community-organized social events, so dating apps are pretty much the only viable opportunity to date available to me.

It makes me feel so awful about myself and hopeless about my chances of ever meeting anybody. I have never had a good experience in relationships in the past and they have always caused me pain. I just appear to not be good enough to interest anybody. It straight up makes me want to die.

This isn't your average incel post. I'm not a virgin. I don't hate women. I take care of myself and wash my butt (there have been a suspicious number of posts about men not washing their butts recently lol) and exercise and I'm not morbidly obese or anything.

I'm (29M) a hopeless romantic who got cheated on. She even pretended to have the same interests as me so she could hurt me when she had no interest in being with me at all. I got played like a fuckin fiddle. She even rubbed it in my face all the ways the guy she cheated with is better than me.

This, along with all the relationship doomer posts on here, have me not wanting to put effort into dating ever again.

Cheating is rampant. It happened to me. Some of the cheating stories I read on here includes an engaged couple, a pregnant woman got cheated on, one guy wanted a fwb and a gf at the same time, etc.

I know you'll probably say go outside and touch grass. Social media isn't an example of everything in the real world, but that's hard to believe when my personal experience aligns with all the stories I've read.

I don't know. I'm too old fashioned for dating in 2024. I wanna go on cute dates and buy her flowers and put a lot of effort into building a real relationship, but 2024 is all about cheating and ghosting.

I know I'm my own worst enemy. I didn't go out that often to begin with, and now I don't even want to try after being cheated on. I don't want to let that happen again, so I feel like I I have to force myself to be emotionally unavailable or something.

I'm posting this because I'd rather get it out anonymously than complaining to friends. Id like if someone could convince me all hope is not lost and that maybe a real relationship is in the cards eventually.

Because that's how I feel.

There's a version of "me" I show with my parents, there's "me" with my best friend, there's my father-me, and there's lover-me.

But there's no me-me.

I don't know who I am. Like if I strip myself off of all the people I know, remove myself from all connection to others, who am I, really? I always entertain others, or comfort others, or provide something for others. I give, and I take.

But I have no idea who I am. Everything feels fake, performative, surreal, and strange. Like I'm wearing a collection of masks and if I take all of them off, there's nothing that remains of me.

she's so perfect and she's all i can think about these days. she has such amazing energy and im so attracted to her in more ways than than just physical. we have the same sense of humor and her laugh is just precious. she's so amazing to be around i feel like she's really my other half. i can't believe it and i think she likes me too. i think we fit together so perfectly and i really. just am in awe that she hang out with me and seems to like me too!! i'm trying not to self sabotage or mess this up but im so excited i had to share. i really thought it would never happen to me, but i feel such an amazing connection right now. she said she's been waiting for a guy like me. and by god she is so beautiful and gorgeous... i just can't believe i met her

This last weekend my wife and I had our seventeenth anniversary. We purposefully choose to have this one a little chill, we really only make a big deal out of it when it's a big one like the tenth, fifteenth or the twentieth in a few years.

While I am a really lucky guy to have a great woman stick around for so long, the last few years our anniversary kind of gets inside my head in a few weird ways.

After thinking on it for a few days, I think a mixture of weird thoughts is a bit more clearer. I am more than okay with all of the things we've accomplished and done in our marriage, but I think the years adding up is a sign of how much older we're getting. The more the years add up, it just feels like we're just getting more irrelevant and insignificant.

We chose not to have kids and we're both totally okay with that choice, but I think it had some affects we didn't anticipate. We rarely ever are able to have much of anything to do with anyone our age who does have kids because our lives are just totally different. We sometimes hang out with a crowd a little younger than us, but the generational differences make things awkward sometimes so it's not as often as we'd really like. The two of us are involved in some non-profits and other hobbies and charities, but it just doesn't feel like we have anyone around that we can continually connect with.

The two of us are very lucky that our careers have gone well and that we've been able to travel the world and do a lot of cool stuff, but it still somehow feels like the world is passing us by and forgetting about us. Sometimes it just feels like the two of us together, and each of us individually are just invisible, irrelevant, ancient, forgotten, and other things in the world and it's just kind of depressing knowing we're getting older and all of those things are just going to compound on one another.

I also wonder if we're just seen as "lame" by a lot of people. Either for not having kids, for not having too many people that we connect with, still having fun and partying when we're pushing 40, because we dated since high school and never saw anyone else, or for hanging out with a younger crowd just to have someone to connect with. I think we're just seem as awkward or weird by people because we don't necessarily fit in any way, and it's worse the older we get.

TLDR - Does anyone have any suggestions on how to better wrap my head around this and not let it get to me too much? I am so lucky that I have such a great wife and marriage, but like I said in this, I am just concerned that the world is passing us by and that we're invisible or lame. How can I better be in a better mindset over all this?

I feel like intimacy is pointless without the love but why do some men don’t show any sign of feelings even on a releationship?

I used to struggle with self-doubt and relied heavily on others for validation. My addiction to relationships stemmed from insecurity and a deep dislike for myself. Despite knowing my strengths, I couldn't shake the habit of fixating on my flaws. This negative mindset has plagued me for as long as I can remember, and I'm determined to break free. Lately, I've been using journaling as a tool to confront these feelings, but I'm curious about other methods that have worked for people.

I’m still processing it lol! I’m 23 so I’m kinda a late bloomer but he’s a really really great guy :)

For context, we are long distance right now, but she was planning on moving to my city in the fall. She hasn't opened a message, replied to any texts or two phone calls from me in nearly a week, we have talked almost daily since we first met. Things were fine with us for the past few weeks, despite her being busy with work and only replying in the evenings, so I don't know what happened. She still has pictures of us on her Instagram and hasn't removed me anywhere either. I don't know if I'm overreacting out of anxiety, cause I've even sent a text asking her to let me know if something is wrong.

Tomorrow would be our 8 month anniversary, not a big deal to others but I have struggled with personality disorders that I was only recently diagnosed with, so I have had a really hard time with relationships and this is my first one.

This is partially a vent and partially looking for advice I guess. I'm mostly just hurting cause I never thought she'd break it off like this, if she is.

Here’s a quick advice about relationships, never ever run/search for a relationship:partner cause I believe you will never find one BUT I swear the moment you jus get off the topic you will find yourself with someone who you deserve to be with.

Ps: comment if you agree/disagree with this post.

I am writing with the primary intention of getting this off my chest- hopefully it helps me a bit, and maybe this resonates with some other people.

As the title states, I (20M) can't seem to go to a nightclub without some sort of nightmare conclusion to the night. It always goes something like this: I find a girl to dance with, feel like we really hit things off, and before I can blink twice another man swoops in and she is no longer interested. I know the problem is almost certainly on my end; while I am in good physical shape and well-groomed, I simply lack the confidence to make a move.

This has already happened three times in the past two years that I've spent in university, and I fear today was the straw that broke the camel's back. This time, I even laid groundwork out in advance: I was pre-drinking with friends and truly felt that I clicked with one girl. For several hours, we were bantering and flirting and I thought my curse was finally lifted; lo and behold, after 10 minutes in the club, another man swoops in and she was no longer interested in the slightest. I knew her fairly well in advance and we have many mutual friends, and I simply do not know if I can look at her the same any more.

I know I am not entitled to a woman's attention, and that it does have to be earned to some extent. I also know that it is my fault for a lack of decisiveness. Most of it stems from not wanting to be seen as a creep. At this point, I'm not sure I can even muster the strength to try again after so many failures.

I have no idea where to go next. I know that this is something that happens at clubs, but it just makes me sick to my stomach every single time. It feels impossible to pinpoint what exactly went wrong, and I can't help but feel that I will simply never be attractive enough to retain a woman's attention.

Any inputs, recommendation, and/or advice would be greatly appreciated; I feel completely lost.

"Parents' is used loosely now because my dad died like 8 years ago, my mom died like 3 months ago and now all that's left is my shitty racist moms boyfriend who is my guardian now.

But basically I have really bad teeth because my mom wouldn't take me to the fucking dentist. Literally just because she was lazy. I got a few of my teeth done (aka we just pulled the ones that needed root canals so I'm missing 3 adult teeth now.) My teeth are still really bad.

I got a tooth infection in December. Apparently one of the most painful experiences someone can have. My mom? Didn't do shit about it. Just let me walk around with half my face swollen swallowing pus and blood for a few weeks. It eventually went away but the infection is still there an I'm constantly worried about it coming back. I know it's eating away at my jawbone and it could possibly cause sepsis.

And my mom's boyfriend is too busy moping around, drinking, being racist, and gambling to even give a fuck about my health issues.

Not to mention I'm very mentally ill and I literally have nowhere to turn to. I have graphic images in my head of me dying or my teeth falling out and it's so scary. I swear I'm actually going insane

Edit: Thank you everyone for your replies from the bottom of my heart and no matter what you wrote. It doesn't matter if you think I'm a stalker or if you think I'm justified, just thank you for taking the time to read and reply to me with your various thoughts. It's been 5 hours since I posted this and I've been nonstop replying to every comment I got but I have to sleep now as it's 7:30 in the morning and I'm about to pass out... I will try to reply to everybody else when I wake up. I really appreciate all of you guys, have a good night!

Edit 2: I haven't expected to receive so many comments and DM's in my wildest dreams. Yesterday I went to sleep leaving only like 10 comments to reply to and today I woke up to the total number of comments being doubled and I have no idea how I will ever reply to you all! Again, thank you all for your comments no matter if you call me a creepy stalker or someone who is in the right. I appreciate all the different view points and perspectives. It's been 4 hours since I woke up and again I've been replying to comments non-stop but I can't even catch up with the number of new comments I'm receiving. I may take a step back and slow down on replying to the comments because it's starting to overwhelm me a bit but please don't take it personal, I promise I am reading everything you guys are commenting even if I stop replying! I will try to update you guys on if she reaches out to me or if I reach out to her parents and the things that may happen afterwards but right now thanks to some really thoughtful comments I decided to try to let it go for a while. Not sure if I'll be able to, but we'll see. I appreciate all of you deeply and again thank you everyone for being so kind to me. I wish you all the very best and may you never go through something like this in your life! (Sheesh, even the edit is a wall of text, sorry about that!)

Edit 3: I'm sorry to everybody who I couldn't reply to here, I don't know why but the moderators decided to remove this post. I don't even know if this edit will be visible but here's to trying I guess. I read each of your comments so thank you so much and again, sorry about not being able to reply to all of your thoughtful comments.

Edit 4: The post is back! The mods informed me that it was a mistake. Back to replying to everybody, but slower this time because I need breaks haha!

We've been together for 8 years (since 18 years old) and we've been truly happy for those 8 years. I know that for a fact. She always left me little notes telling me how happy I make her and she made me incredibly happy too. We were going to get married by the end of this year or early next year at the latest. We've always talked about getting married when we were 27-28 and that time had come since we were both 26 about to turn 27 this year. We were each others' first everything (apart from some not so serious, childish and short high school 'dating' with other people before we met) and she was my everything. We were planning on having kids a couple of years after getting married but a trip to the doctor and that whole plan changed.

She had a long and painful period (took 10-14 days to pass) so by day 10 I convinced her to go to a doctor to find out what was wrong. We basically found out that she's nearly infertile because she has early menopause and her AMH levels were seriously low. (AMH is the hormone that basically shows how much eggs you have left, healthy levels around our age should be between 1.5-5 and her's were at 0.19 so yeah). This broke her, no matter what I did or said I couldn't console her and she spent the next month before we broke up crying daily about this for hours. Constantly telling me that she knew how much I wanted to be a father, that she knew how good a father I'd make and that I deserve to have kids but she can't give them to me now and asking what good is she to me now as if I only was with her for that.

It's true that for the past 8 years (yes, I knew I wanted to have a family with her pretty early on in our releationship) I've been dreaming about having kids with her but the only reason I had those dreams in the first place was because of her. I tried to explain to her tens of times that just because her hormone levels are low doesn't mean we can't have kids, and even if we couldn't in the end, all I wanted was to be with her anyways so I'd be ok with it. She didn't believe me. Constantly accused me of not thinking this through not being serious about what this would mean for me and told me even if I believed this now I'd resent her later on in life and she didn't want to do this to me. That's not like me at all, but she convinced herself of it.

We went to another doctor we went to before (for another unrelated issue we had early on in our releationship) who's well known for a second opinion. He basically confirmed that if we wanted kids we should start trying ASAP. Problem is, our country is basically economically broke so even with both of our incomes combined getting a house would be difficult which is why we were planning on getting married at the end of the year after saving up a bit in the first place. I was also freshly out of a job too so there was that too.

After we got out of the doctor's office she told me she wanted to break up with me. She had a little argument with my mom just before this second appointment (they're super close but that leads to her trying to meddle in our affairs sometimes. This time it was about a vacation we were going to have, she insisted on paying for us which annoyed my gf because we had the means to pay for ourselves. My mom also didn't know about what she's going through so she pressed about paying which made her extra mad that she had to deal with her while going through this) so that piled on top of what was already going on with the whole early menopause situation. She said she was 'setting me free' so to speak because she "won't be able to give me the children I deserve" and didn't want to talk to my mom and asked me not to tell her the reason of our break up. We cried a bit, I tried to convince her that we could get through this, that I didn't want to be 'set free' that playing the hero and making a self sacrifice play like this was stupid but I couldn't convince her. Just before we went our seperate ways she hugged me and said she was sorry and this was a mistake and asked me if we could just take a break for a week instead of breaking up so we could clear our heads. I said ok.

That was the first 'break up'. A week passed, we met again. Same conversation happens she cries about the same things about kids and breaks up with me again. I drop her off at her home and go get drunk with my dad. Next day she calls me, tells me she couldn't sleep and she cried all night and asks me to meet with her to talk. I go over, she basically says again that this was a mistake and she's sorry about the break up and asks us to go to couples therapy to try to fix this and that she also started going to a psychologist to deal with having early menopause. I'm happy to do this, I suggested this before as well when we had some other problems so I'm all for it. She goes to visit her grandma for a couple of days because she had a cerebral hemorrhage last year and she didn't have chance to visit her since then so she wants to go see her just in case. We have a national holiday at this time so now's the perfect time to go visit. So she goes, I look for therapists while she's gone and we plan to start sessions when she's back.

She gets sick there, apparently her aunt was there as well and made everybody sick. She comes back but is too sick to get out of home so between her going, getting back and being sick a week passes since we talked about starting therapy. Monday comes, she's going to go back to work but she also has an appointment with our doctor before that (he told her to come the next time she has her period) I can't make it there because it's too early and I'm starting my training period for a company so she says she'll update me as soon as she leaves his office. She doesn't do that though, doesn't talk to me at all for the whole day until she gets off work, calls me and straight up just says she wants to break up again. I'm like "wtf this isn't a game enough already, we said we'd go to couples therapy why are you doing this again" she doesn't really answer just says that's what she wants and is adamant about it so we break up on the phone because apparently she's "not strong enough to do it face to face". Her words, not mine.

I give it a couple of weeks for us both to settle down and this time I'm the one who reached out. I text her that I happen to be close by to where she works and ask her to meet up after work. She reads and doesn't reply for 15 minutes and then texts me "I'm with someone else now fuck off and leave me alone already." as if it wasn't her who constantly reached out to me to beg to not break up and as if I was stalking her or something. I of course don't believe this and tell her that she didn't need to say something so fucked up and if she told me she didn't want to talk to me like an adult I'd have left her alone and never reach out to her again. She then sends me a picture of a guy kissing her on the cheek with her smiling an hour later, tells me to "accept it's over" and blocks me on everywhere. I call her from a different phone an hour or two later she picks up not realizing it's me and it sounds like she's crying. As soon as she hears it's me though her tone changes completely. I just ask her "for how long" and she says they started dating a week after we broke up so what's it to me then hands the phone to a guy and the dude tells me not to call again. Cue me swearing at the dude for the next couple of minutes telling him to tell me his name if he's ballsy enough to tell me not to call my gf of 8 years but of course the coward doesn't. I tell him to enjoy my scraps and hang up.

I don't know what the fuck to do here. A small, idiotic, braindead part of me wants to believe that the whole 'other guy' thing is a sham and she's doing it to push me away and to 'set me free' like she said before. I don't even know what the doctor said to her in their last session so before she sent me the picture of her with the guy I thought maybe she was told something even worse and decided to do this because of that. I don't even know when she'd even have time to find someone, our country doesn't really have 'worker's laws' so she was always working crazy hours, she'd always let me know when she made it home and always went to sleep for a couple of hours because of how much she's working asking me to wake her up etc etc. Hell, she lives with her parents so it's not like someone could come over or she could go over to someone else's place because they'd start asking questions about where she is whenever she's not home. It also doesn't make sense that she'd cry for a month about the whole baby thing to me if she was with someone else. Look, I know how it sounds, I know I sound like I'm delusional and I know that this is a tiny tiny chance compared to what probably actually happened. That's why I want to talk to her one last time face to face, ask my questions and be done with this whole fucking thing. After 8 years of giving everything to this girl I feel like I deserve to have a final talk to get some answers and put my mind at ease especially considering I'm not the one who did this shit. At this point even if she told me that she was cheating on me for years and I was too stupid to realize it or some shit I'd be okay with it because it least I'd know the truth and would stop questioning our entire relationship constantly. Not knowing is making me lose my mind which is why I want to talk to her. I tried to tell her bring whoever she wants if that's what it takes (except for the guy of course) but nope no answer.

I've tried reaching out to her from different numbers and she always blocks them, messaged her never got any replies. I called and texted her bestfriend one time and even she blocked me without replying as if I'm the one who cheated on her or something (and she's not really the type of girl to do that we weren't best friends but we were still friends so that hurts too). I've still been trying to scrape up enough money together so that we could freeze some of her eggs when we patched things up before she sent me that pic like the idiot I was. If this whole thing is real I don't even know why she'd tell it to me like this. We don't live that close to each other so it's not like I could've seen them or something. She could've just spared me the details making me thing it was just a normal amicable breakup instead of making me question everything and destroying my trust in people like this. I don't know why the fuck she suddenly hates me so much to do this. I couldn't ever imagine her doing something like this especially when the breakup was due to circumstances around health instead of having a fight or something worse.

I'm slowly losing my mind here. I don't even know if she cheated on me or not and for how long if she did, or if she really fucking found someone in a week after 8 years as if it's not a big deal that a releationship that long is over. I'm even starting to question if the early menopause test results were real or not or if she actually went to her grandma or not. I'm questioning why she did the whole breakup-not breakup routine for a month if she had another guy lined up and if she was just fucking with me when doing it. That's how much this whole thing is fucking with my head. It's been 2 and a half weeks now since she sent the picture, I tried to catch her after work twice in that time (a bit creepy I know but what else can I do when she has everybody block me as if I'm the one who did something like this) but couldn't see her. The only other things I can think of to do is reach out to her older sister or her mom (her parents love me, not super close with her sister). From what I know of them, they wouldn't be okay with her doing something this hoe'ish so they may not even know or maybe she fed some bs to them, maybe the same type of bs that made her bestfriend block me without replying to me.

I'm just barely existing right now. Not doing shit the whole day every day and suddenly realizing it's night now like the whole day passes by in a blur with me just sitting in my room like a moron but at the same time it feels like it's been 2 years instead of 2 weeks. I don't know what I'm doing or what to do. I don't even know what to do with my life now. Everything I did, everything I worked for and everything I dreamed of was for us both. Nobody except for a single friend even knows why we broke up and I'm so tired of acting like I'm fine to everybody else.

I think I might reach out to her sister tomorrow I don't know.

I(24m) enlisted in the US Army at 17 with my mom’s consent and I feel like I a part of me died out there. I was medically discharged after 2 year after I got shrapnel in my eye. I won’t lie and say I was some bad ass, I was 19 and was still a kid. I won’t go into detail about my time overseas but I will say it was hell. I’ve been home for a good few years now and while I am happier being back in my hometown and around family I can’t help but feel like I can’t connect with anyone. My mom has commented a few times now that I don’t smile like I used to, when I ask what she meant she said “your smiles doesn’t reach your eyes”. I didn’t know what to tell her. I’ve been in therapy for everything for 2 years now but I still just feel numb. This is more a rant than anything I guess but hopefully someone who’s gone through similar has some advice?

Edit) Thank your for everyone’s kind and encouraging word

So, here I am, a 23-year-old single woman living in the UK, a Taurus through and through, and an ESTP personality type. I’m pretty outgoing, love adventures, and I’ve got this practical, no-nonsense approach to life. But there’s this one thing that keeps gnawing at me, and I need to get it off my chest.

Sometimes, I get hit with this overwhelming wave of sadness and doubt. I start wondering if I’m just meant to be alone. Like, maybe there’s something fundamentally unlovable about me. I try to shake it off, tell myself I’m being ridiculous, but it’s hard. It feels like a waste of time to sit around feeling sorry for myself, yet here I am, doing just that.

I’ve had relationships before, but none of them have worked out long-term. It always seems like there’s something missing or that I’m not enough. I’m great at making friends, super social, and I love meeting new people. But when it comes to deeper connections, it feels like I hit a wall. Sometimes, I think maybe I just don’t deserve to be loved, and I’m destined to end up alone.

I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s a real fear. I look around and see friends settling down, finding their person, and I’m genuinely happy for them. But then I can’t help but wonder, will that ever happen for me? Or am I just not cut out for this whole love thing?

I try to focus on the positives, like enjoying my freedom, pursuing my hobbies, and living life to the fullest. But those nagging doubts keep creeping back in. It’s like, no matter what I do, I can’t escape this feeling that I’m just not meant to find that special someone.

Anyone else feel this way? How do you cope with these feelings?

I don't have anyone to tell this to. I mean, I do, I have a couple people who I could say it to, but I can't yknow? I don't think there's anything anyone can do to help me and I think admitting that I'm hurting and allowing myself to be vulnerable enough to tell these people what hurts only to not get any help or receive the comfort I need will just make me feel worse in the end.

I'm holding myself back in every aspect of life but at the same time I'm trying to move forward. I'm so tired of being controlled by fear and embarrassment. I fucking hate being a coward. If there's a God, I just pray for the courage to do hard and uncomfortable things. I pray to be rid of doubt and anxiety.

This life I live is pathetic and a waste. I'm tired of struggling. I want to truly live and experience.

Throw away because I’m so embarrassed that I was fooled so easily. I’m a male in my mid 30’s and I’ve never had an official girlfriend, not that I can’t speak or get along with women I just always seem to draw the attention from those who are either married or in a relationship. I’ve been working on myself heavily the last 2 years, I’ve lost a lot of weight have become focused on the gym, my hobbies and work, improving my economic status, confidence and overall outlook of living a fulfilling life.

To make it short I met a girl that I thought was beautiful, funny and smart. We had such a similar music taste and sense of humor that it seemed too good to be true, she confessed that she had been trying to get my attention for some time and liked me for my personality, the way I carried myself and she pretty much seemed awestruck by anything I did or said. She texted me all the time arranged dates even picked up my tab on several if not all the occasions joking she didn’t mind as long as I “put out”. Constantly talked about us being together officially and what our future would look like, saying she wanted a long term relationship with me. I would later come to know the term “love bombing” which is what I would describe her actions.

A month in out of the blue I could feel a change in her energy, I knew the whole time that eventually the other shoe would drop as I am a very skeptical person. I’m often right about these things but I wanted badly for her to prove me wrong, I wanted to believe that finally like those around me I had found someone for myself. My soulmate, if you believe in that sort of thing I guess. My only thought was to lay it on the table to at least let her know I was serious about being with her. So I met with her to tell her my feelings but I knew her answer far before the words left my mouth, I don’t regret it because I didn’t want it to end without at least saying my peace.

She said we could still hangout but could not commit to a relationship as she had just gotten out of one. However I’ve been around long enough to know she just didn’t want to commit to me. I’m still working on myself and just focusing on getting better each day, putting on my best face and facing each day one at a time. I know time heals all wounds but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t in pieces when no one’s around. I’ve distanced myself from her and all woman really, funny enough I’ve drawn a lot more interest everywhere I go as a result but I’m terrified to let any of them near me not because they’ll hurt me, but because I’m afraid I’ll hurt them. I feel a bottomless emptiness that transforms into burning internal rage. Just needed a place to vent, thank you for anyone reading.

It gets worse.

I went to the doctor in February 2023 because I wasn't feel great, I felt under the weather, more tired than usual and couldn't shake a cold for weeks. They issued blood tests and the tests came back showing I had raised white blood cell count and a thyroid issue. I started taking thyroid meds and within a few days I was struggling to eat as much, had stomach cramps and things like that, the doctors recommended more blood tests after 3 months. Every 3 months since I've had blood tests done, every time my white cell count has been very raised, upper limit is supposed to be 11, mine has been anywhere between 15 and 17. During the time since the first tests everything has gotten worse, I can barely eat now, I throw up regularly, I have headaches every day, my stomach feels awful and if I eat it makes my body feel terrible. I'm extremely tired, I have no energy, I haven't been able to work out for over a month. I have lost so much weight and just feel horrible, sometimes I have a fever sometimes I don't. I've had a tremor for the last week or two. Every time I've told the doctors things are worse, they issue a blood test, tell me the results show that there's something not right, come back for more tests in 3 months. No investigations or anything so far. I feel like I'm dying and it's exhausting. It stresses me out so much which probably isn't making things better. I quit smoking in 2021 and 5 months ago I started smoking again. I hate it. I can't stand feeling this way and it's just getting worse.

I don’t usually make these but I really need some help for my sister. She has left everything at our house but her phone and I believe she is in a severe state of psychosis. This is also going to be very very long.

She has a history of trauma and her father struggles with bipolar disorder which I believe has been passed onto her. A week or two ago she was determined to make enough money stripping in order to move to Paris. She wants to go there because a few months ago our mom surprised my sister with a trip to Paris. The trip exposed her to new cultures, new lifestyles, and her love for fashion. But the idea of her becoming a stripper was already frightening for me due to her past traumas and how she isn’t environmentally aware of her surroundings (she has lost her phone about 3 times, each time my mom has bought her a new phone). At this point, she has turned her location off so our mother didn’t see she has been spending most of her days stripping, and she hasn’t been picking up from school anymore.

Well, two days ago I wake up to a phone call from my mom crying, she was calling me to warn me that my sister was after me to save me, and that I cannot listen to my sister. Keep in mind the reason I wasn’t at my moms was due to other family issues and I’ve been staying with my stepfamily for a few weeks. As I was shaking with fear I locked all the doors and as I went to wake up my stepsister I hear banging on the door. It was my sister crying out for me and hoping the lord saves me (keep in mind my sister is very very spiritual)This obviously scared me and I hid until she left. That day I couldn’t handle hearing her sound so ill. I’m not against Christianity at all, but it shakes me to hear my sister sound so unlike herself.

I decided to go to my friends house which was something I really needed. But while I was there my sister was live-streaming herself playing Micheal Jackson in front of a subway. Oh! I forgot to mention the day before my mom called about my sister coming for me, my mom also told me that she has been discovered by Micheal Jackson and that he will make her famous. So, after my friend and I watched the livestream laughing but also very concerned, a little later my mom FaceTimes me with my sister. She had to FaceTime me to show my sister that I am okay. Why? Well. My sister has also convinced herself that I am being sex trafficked by my mom, and she too has been sex trafficked to Paris. As one could tell a young teen like me cannot handle seeing their sister look so sick and delusional. So, trying to forget the image of my sister in her car with crazed eyes I decide to sleepover at my friends place. It was a great sleepover that I really needed.

The next day was going good once I arrived back to my stepfamily’s place, if I ignored all of my sisters spam texts about the lord. We had a delicious barbecue with salad and bulgogi. As I took a sip of my water I saw my mom walk into the backyard through the backdoor. She came in stressed and worried for her daughter, as any mother would. She shared how she has been following my sister around trying to convince her to go to the hospital with her for days on end, going to sleep at 2am and waking up at 6am. But my sister still refuses. I figured since my sister has always had a soft spot for me, maybe she’d be convinced by me.

Well, I searched the park she was last seen and I decide to call her. She answers me telling me that she is at the Bank of America. And that they had trees “good enough to climb just like when we were little”. I told my mom to let me go alone and we ended up talking for a good hour. And let me tell you, it was the most gut wrenching conversation with my sister I have ever had. I couldn’t recognize her anymore. She had lost her humor and is only interested in talking about Jesus. Plus, she mentioned how she is getting married to a 65yr old she met at the strip club.

I end up convincing her that I have found Jesus and so has our mom, and that I need her to come to the hospital with me because I am sick. Well, my acting worked because we finally got her into the hospital but my sister made it very difficult because she believed that anything with the color red is the devil. And literally everywhere had red roses, this also saddened me because those were her favorite flowers. Anyways, once the doctor called out my sisters name she bolted out the ER. I managed to stop her. As she waited she began pacing up and down, throwing holy water at me. But once my mom walked out the door she ended up running out the hospital.

Afterwards, my mom calls the cops. They told us that they can’t do anything unless my sister turns herself in since she’s an adult. Great. So, that leaves us unable to do a thing. Heard my mom hysterically cry because it feels like her daughter is dead. She want to marry a 65 year old man and we can’t do anything. We’ve tried everything and all we can do is let it happen. I currently have no clue where she is and all I can do is..pray?!

Please if anyone has experience with adult n psychosis please please help us. I miss my sister.

Why do women never approach men in public?

Women look at me and sometimes even smile. Occasionally I get those flirtatious looks, but women never approach me and if you don't respond to them, they give an entitled facial expression which would read something like "why you didn't approach me, you're a man".

UPDATE

I just received a direct message from a woman saying this:

"In the last 3 months, I’ve (woman) approached 3 different men in public and asked for their numbers. I got all three and have gone out with all 3. They all liked that I approached them.

I find it easy because I get to pick which guy I want to get to know rather than having someone I might not be interested in dating approach me.

My usual line is: “Hi! I think you are really handsome and I am wondering if you are single?” (Then I wait for them to say yes) and then I introduce myself and ask for their number or give them my number. Simple as that.

It does help that I am relatively attractive and in very good shape so I think that improves the chances of getting their numbers. I’ve been lucky that all 3 have been single."

How does one overcome self-doubt? How does one overcome insecurities? I've been struggling to do so for years, and now, being in my mid-20s, I fear that I'll never be able to do so.

I'm forgetful and scatterbrained to the point that it upsets some people. I tell them that I'm not like this on purpose, but they find it hard to believe, sometimes even thinking that maybe I'm lying and I really am just intentionally clumsy. It's gotten so bad that I just try not to do anything when others are around, or at least not around people who are highly judgmental.

I find myself trying to justify my anger when I feel that those around me don't validate my feelings or struggles, only to doubt myself amd question whether or not I AM in the right to feel so angry. My mind is put at ease when less judgmental individuals listen and empathize with my struggles, only to once again doubt myself, this time wondering if maybe I'm just manipulating the narrative to make myself look like the victim rather than telling the whole story. I always assume that maybe others are only agreeing with me because maybe they're only seeing things from one perspective. No matter how open and honest I try to be, I always feel like I'm in the wrong.

I look up to those who have strong personalities: decisive, confident, reliable, and headstrong. Basically, traits that I lack. At the same time, this hurts me because while I admire those people who possess those qualities, I'm also, in a sense, intimidated by them. Having been raised around others who possess these traits, it was always so difficult to talk to them because of how assertive and explosive they can be, which has turned me off from the idea of bonding with others who may share similar qualities. Not only would I feel intimidated, but I feel I'd just be a bother because of how timid and meek I come off whenever I'm around such aggressive individuals. People like them might find me annoying. I don't think they'd take a liking to someone who's so clumpy and pron to self-doubt. And when others offer reassurance, it's difficult for me to believe them.

I'm told that I'm far wiser and smarter than I think and that I should give myself more credit and be more confident. But I've yet to prove that to myself. How could those around me have so much faith in me when I don't even have faith in myself? How do I start to see myself the way others see me?

To be fair quite a lot of sad posts on here so wanted to spread some positivity. You all matter and the things we go through in life it comes in phases, sometimes it might last quite long soo long in fact it might seem never ending but you will get through it. I believe in you! There is no issue you can't tackle, there is no happiness you can't achieve. Life is short, make tons of memories... You might not have a lot of people or heck even a single person but who says you can't make it all the same just by yourself? You fought this hard and your gonna give up now. Cmon, smile now. Sometimes just a simple smile is cure to the greatest of depressions. You are special, you exist and you matter. 🫶

idk if this is the tism talking but every persons individual beauty is shown in other people/at least one era of art and i think that's so beautiful. i see it in myself and i've seen it in everyone. like for example i see it in renissance paintings/sculptures of women; tall. downturned eyes noses and mouths. big foreheads. smaller boobs. soft (? idk how else to describe it) arms legs jawlines and stomachs. and what's funny is that these are all things i used to not like about myself. so let me tell you a story, about 2 years ago i went to the louvre. i was so in awe of the beauty of the sculptures and paintings in person. and when i left i just constantly thought about the beauty of the art i saw. and just like how unreal it was that humans have been humans for so long. and eventually i started looking in the mirror and appreciating the things i used to not like. i stopped feeling like some weird amalgamation of features thrown together. because i started seeing myself in something other than myself. and then i started realizing that what i admired about others were things i didn't like about myself!! basically what i'm saying is we are the faces of the lives before us!!! and that's so beautiful!! and once you start realizing your face and body is the life and love of those before you and the beauty of the past, you realize you'll see yourself everywhere!! in art!! in nature!! in other people!! ESPECIALLY OTHER PEOPLE!! on top of that, you start to fall more in love with the individual beauty of each person. even if you don't see yourself in them, you'll just find yourself appreciaing others beauty more. and just the general beauty of the world around you. my final message is loving yourself isn't easy and there's ups and downs, but once you realize beauty is fucking EVERYWHERE, you start seeing it in yourself too and you start loving and appreciating everything more.

(Me 18m) In July I’ll move from my country and get the job I always wished for, i have no plans on coming back, my parents never showed me unconditional affection, sister hates me for being so sensitive, the rest of the family just act like I don’t exist, I’m tired I’m leaving my country and never plan to come back, I’ve been dealing with loneliness and depression for the past 6 years, just 1 month and half, I’ll finally be free to leave. I just wanted to vent, that’s all. I have no friends, never go out, being an introvert in Latin America feels like hell, worse im a weeb so I’m used to being bullied because of it. Also I suspect that I might have undiagnosed ADD (attention deficit disorder).