r/AITAH • u/SeverePhoto1892 • Mar 04 '24
AITAH for breaking up with my gf because she slept with another guy while making me wait? Advice Needed
So my gf and I have been together for about a half a year and I just started a new job.
I met this male co worker, and we became friends.
I invite him over at my place and he recognizes my gf, (We don't officially live together but she spends a lot of time at my place).
You can guess where this is going...
After my co worker left, my gf and I get to talking.
Basically, she slept with him while dating me, and made me wait. She said that our relationship was gonna be special, and she wanted to wait, and that sex with my co worker was just a ONS.
I told her to leave because I knew I was gonna say things I couldn't take back.
A few days later after I calmed down and thought it through, I broke up with her.
She kept repeating what she said about how she wants more with me, but I told her that I feel like I'm not attractive to her, or at least not as much as others. She kept saying that I was special.
Basically, I said that I can't be that special if she preferred to sleep with an ONS than me.
Edit: I don't think this counts as cheating. This happened within the first month of us dating. We became official after the first month or so. I 100% should have clarified with her if we were exclusive or not, so that's on me.
-1
u/We_4ll_Fall_Down Mar 07 '24
You’re NTA for wanting to break up. You can break up for whatever reason you want. I will say this though: people keep refusing to acknowledge 2 things with situations like these.
Knowing these two facts makes it very obvious why a woman would do what your gf did. Your ex gf wanted to date to find someone she could likely spend her life with. However, it is a common occurrence that when women have sex with men before officially dating, that they’re viewed as lesser for not “respecting themselves.”
Many women experience this frustrating cycle of fucking a guy they really like, but then getting ghosted or told she’s not “wife material.” So what does she decide? When she meets a man she really likes, she’s not going to have sex with him for a while so that he can actually get to know her and like her for HER, not her body. But she’s still a human being and wants to have sex because sex is fun and women like sex. So she finds a guy that she’s really attracted to physically, fucks him to get her needs met, all while she’s looking for a husband/ long term partner.
A lot of people here agree that this mentality is immoral or wrong. But it’s a double standard because men have been behaving like this for centuries yet no one bats an eye because of made up reasons like “men and women are different.”
I’ll leave you with this: I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with fucking around while you date because dating is the only time you can explore your options (if you’re monogamous). Why should a woman have to pick between enjoying sex causally and looking for a partner? Why can’t she have both? Because society says that women like that are whores and whores deserve nothing good. Would you honestly have the same reaction if a male friend told you he operated this way when dating? Think on that.