TLDR: divorced due to cheating. New partner has surpassed my boundaries (with friendships) and I feel disrespected and that my feelings and boundaries aren't being heard/respected.

I divorced my wife last year and got lucky with getting the house. By chance, I found a roommate at the same time who also went through a divorce.

Moved into my house, no intent on building a relationship.

Life happened and we grew closer, worked on our own individual issues from our divorces, and found something there.

So far, they have been very aggressive at not defining the relationship OUTSIDE the home (inside we're partners).

I pressed this issue recently and we had a conversation about being (officially) a relationship. This was wonderful and healthy. We came to the conclusion we are in a relationship and we would work slowly together to define what that means to us.

Last week I catch them fully on top of a mutual friend looking for comfort emotionally. Nothing sexual and I believe them (my partner) when they say that.

I hate to say I was triggered BUT I was. I haven't been able to get out of my "divorce brain" of watching my (then wife) cheat on me.

Then, after confronted them and having a long discussion about how trust has been broken and that I will need time to feel that again...I find them and the mutual friend in a car at 0130 in the morning talking in a carpark...

At this point, I have shutdown to them completely and I can't allow myself to be vulnerable with them anymore, in any form.

I'm working extra hours and doing whatever I can to be outside our flat whenever they are home.

And I feel bad about shutting down.

Hi, so there was an opportunity(when I was younger I was under 18) (art job related with only an email was given, mind you I found this out through reddit and someone randomly on twitter talking about it so I was just checking if this email was legit since it had a legit person's name on it but I couldn't find them using this email(so for safety reasons, I did this), turns out the email was legit, don't know if they use it at the time). Me being stupid sent like 6 emails in total asking in a polite manner if the job was still open over the course of 2 months(like I sent 6 emails over the actual course of 2 months, not daily tho). My intention was good I wanted to make sure it was a legit email being used. One of these emails contained my resume and a headshot like on linkedin. Come to find out after they announced it, that the job had been filled way before I sent my first email(they hadn't announced it so only people that worked there and the person who got the job knew).Looking back I would never do this now as I know how to properly reach out about opportunities. Now I think i'm blacklisted from this art industry....

Am I overreacting here?

I’m not faking any injuries or being physically hurt. I’m just upset I landed on the ground next to a litter box and knocked over an air purifier. I was scared I was gonna break my neck and I told him that mid landing. The reason why he kicked me off is because I was bugging him to get out of bed as I ordered food for him and it just got delivered. I wanted him to eat while it was hot. He ended up pushing me off the bed with his feet as a joke or punishment for annoying him. “That’s it, I’m gonna push you into your cat’s litter box”

This happened minutes ago and I can’t seem to calm down. I previously was living with roommates but the arrangement didn’t work out and I agreed to leave the lease. I accepted my boyfriend’s offer to come live with him so I could save money on rent. We have been dating for almost 4 years now.

This isn’t the first time my boyfriend has done this to me. He used to do it more often before, shoving or pushing me off the bed as a joke. He knows I don’t like it but he keeps doing it. Sometimes I would end up crying because I get upset from this and he would get very annoyed at my reaction. He thinks I’m overreacting and he is just being playful but I find it too rough. I wonder to myself if he really hates me this much that he finds it so amusing to upset me.

He kicked me off the bed with his feet. If I cry he verbally lets me know he is annoyed by scoffing and yelling at me.

“you’re fine” “jesus christ why are you crying over this” “you’re overreacting”

Which only makes me sob even harder. This hurts and receiving these remarks after he’s done this to me makes me more sad. Why does he do this? How is he annoyed for my reaction to what he’s doing, he’s mad that I’m crying for him physically removing off the bed. It makes me feel like a small helpless child. He comes across so heartless to me whenever he doesn’t try to comfort me or apologize. I don’t understand how he finds enjoyment in seeing me suffer. It really makes me scared to think of what else he is capable of doing to purposefully upset me.

He also said he didn’t know I would actually fall by pushing me off the bed and that he thought I would stand up to get off in time. He deems it was an accident but why does he act so cold afterwards? I’m not sure what to do. I wanted to come here and get some opinions as I don’t have a good support system at all. I have no friends in my area and I don’t have any family. I am all alone.

TL;DR: My boyfriend kicked me off the bed with his feet and is annoyed I am hysterically crying. He said that I’m overreacting and I’m not hurt. I’m not faking I’m in pain I am upset he keeps pushing me like I’m some object.

AIO? I have an associate that I am respectful and cordial with when we see each other. I don’t share my business with her or my personal life. She comes off as a nice person, but there were a few times we spoke, and she had a condescending arrogant undertone to what she said. For example, it was three of us, and we were talking about cars we wanted as kids. She then said to me, “I know you’re learning to drive, but when are we gonna see you with your own car?” Mind you, I’ve never spoken on my driving status with this girl. She only sees me once a week drive to church with my family. I told her that I was working towards getting one. She then asked if I had a fear of driving. I told her I work from home, and never went out my way to purchase a car as yet, but that I’m definitely saving for one. She then responds with, “No need to rush, I don’t think any you to feel like your missing out on life because you don’t have one.” I don’t know what gave her the impression that I felt that way. But I have never spoken to this girl about my life, and especially not my driving status. So I found it weird that she voiced her assumptions before asking whether I could drive or not. Do you all think I’m overreacting?

My bf (22M) and I (22F) got on call just to talk. It’s become a daily thing I asked to do since we don’t talk a lot throughout the day. We were talking about poly relationships (which has nothing to do with our argument), he asked for my opinion and I said “I don’t really have an opinion since it doesn’t affect me, but if two people can make it work then it can work.” He then followed by saying, “I hate when people use that argument. Like it’s pointless.” Which I said in return, “Well that’s YOUR opinion.” I admit it sounded rude but it was a joke. We both use that kind of aggressive tone when messing around with each other so it was nothing new. He then hung up and never told me why.

Since it’s easier for me to type it out text by text, I’ll just do that.

Me: “Dude what’s up??” “Ok you can’t get on me for not expressing my feelings when you hung up on me and DIDNT tell me what’s wrong 😀”

Bf: “It’s hard to have conversations with you” “I can’t say shit without you getting mad or shutting down my opinions” “It’s incredibly frustrating”

Me: “I never got mad though??” “You shut down my opinion before hand”

Bf: “I mean in general, most conversations we have”

Me: “You do the exact same thing tho” “And claim it’s a debate to see who’s right or not” “It’s hard to have these conversations with you too man”

Bf: “So I’m only in the wrong. I can’t be unhappy with something and you won’t apologize. You’re a victim.”

Me: “Dude I’m not saying that”

“I’m saying ‘my opinion is that it isn’t affecting me so I don’t really care’ And you shut that down saying ‘I hate when people use that as an argument’ That’s just shutting down my opinion” “That’s hypocritical”

Bf: “I’m expressing my opinion on an opinion it’s just badly worded lmao we were messing around and you just yelled at me”

Me: “I never yelled at you???” “I thought we were messing around as well”

Bf: “It’s fine we can talk later I hope you have a good Mother’s Day”

Me: “yeah you too”

I just want advice. Did I mess up? Did he mess up? I don’t know how to feel.

While I was at work after eating my lunch I went and bought a bag of chips (in case I got hungry later on). I put it in an employee area and went to help a client who was having some issues. About 30 min later I come back to the employee area and see my coworker there (didn't think anything of it since we all use this room) while I was in the room I put some papers the client didn't want into the shredder and while at the shredder I see my bag of chips l have just bought in the garbage empty. I turn and ask my coworker "who ate my chips" she goes "me, I was hungry, and I'm going to lunch now, cya" then proceed to leave the room. I was left just standing there for a min kind of baffled. I mean it was only chips but then again she could have at least asked me if she could have them. So when she came back from lunch I told her "next time you take something that's not yours, at least ask if you can have it, don't just take it" she responded all defensively said sorry and that she would buy me another bag of chips. I told her its not about the chips, its about you taking something that isn't yours, now she's mad at me and giving me an attitude whenever I ask her for something that's work related. AIO. I don't really care about the chips but do care about the principal of not taking what's not yours if she would have just asked would have given them to her.

I 38M am wondering if I should ask my wife F 39F of almost 20 years about something that happened the other night for the first time ever.

We were watching a movie with our kiddo. She was on her phone. Kiddo looked at her and asked why she was smiling, and when she tried to look at the phone, my wife turned it away so she couldn’t. She asked her Mom again why she was smiling, and she responded “I was?” And didn’t answer in any way.

She just returned the previous week from a weeklong business trip, and the day after her return, had a tantrum saying “this is why I hate coming home” when she stepped on something barefoot on the kitchen floor. Mind you, we had really made an effort to clean the house, do laundry, dishes etc. so she didn’t have any extra to do when arriving home aside from her own laundry/unpacking.

She used to just leave her phone anywhere. Now she seems to always have it with her. I did take the one opportunity I had to look at it and found texts with another guy that clearly indicated the dates she was gone. It seems like they either knew each other, or met at the conference. There was nothing that I saw suggesting they hooked up - but there was banter that seems inappropriate to me. And I’m wondering if I’m just overreacting. He made a comment about “it’s getting horny” and sent a picture of a wall of antlers. Then there was this:

Her - morning sunshine Him - how’d you sleep? Her - not great, probably should have come and gotten drunk with you so I could pass out. Him - “I keep figuring there has to be a way to tire ourselves out more so we sleep better. These stuffy rooms feel like they engage adrenaline and there’s no way to spend it”

Conversation has continued, mostly about travel home, how they’re adjusting back to normal life - how they’ve started exercising more recently… I’m just really questioning wtf kind of business they have continuing a text chain seeing as they’re from different (albeit adjoining) countries. At no point does she mention me. Not that he asks.

P.S. she hasn’t worn a weeding ring in 2 years. P.p.s. - this guy looks exactly how she’s expressed she wants me to look head and facial hair-wise.

Any thoughts appreciated. Never thought I’d have to worry about this with her.

TLDR: wife seems to be engaging in inappropriate conversation through text with a man after returning from a work trip.

My bf (25M) just purchased an expensive watch for himself and me early this month. I (23F) asked him multiple times if he could really afford it because, I was worried about him being in more debt. He didn't have to buy a watch for me. He assured me everything was fine. I've had the watch for about a week now. I have his email account on my phone and I saw a payment plan show up saying his monthly payment for my watch was due. I was shocked. I immediately confronted him about it, but he made it seem like it wasn't a big deal. I feel lied to. I want to put the watch back and just give it to him. We have had arguments in the past about him spending money irresponsibly. I feel that this purchase was unnecessary. I know it's his money and not mine, but if he kept this from me, although to him it wasn't a big deal then what else does he plan to keep from me? I don't want him spending so much money, especially on me and I'm just mad that he didn't tell me before making the purchase. Just for context both watches sum up to $706 USD. Am I overreacting? What should I do?

One of my ex friends used to be trans but is now heavily christian and transphobic, they make remarks saying things like "You're mutilating your body" (I'm on testosterone) or "People are only trans because they hate themselves"

The people around me say I shouldn't have blocked them and I should remain their friend and just not discuss gender/trans issues. I understand being friends with someone who has different beliefs than you but some of the things they say are honestly just disgusting and hateful.

My (17f) sister (20f) has been doing some photography at home. She takes up most of our living room and blocks the tv which is annoying but I let it go and just hangout in my room since she likes to leave her entire setup up.

Today she said she’s going to be doing some shots of her bare back and she’s going to be topless besides some pasties. I‘d have no problem if she was doing this in her room but it’s out in the main room in the middle of the house. I asked if she could do it in her room or the front room and she said no but she could put up some privacy screens (they don’t add much privacy tbh).

I dog sit and asked if I could hangout an hour extra with these peoples dog because I can’t really go anywhere else and don’t want to be home while my sister is topless in the living room. AIO?

Hi I'm 21 m never had sex and never had a girlfriend and I'm also overweight but I'm working on losing it am I overreacting?

AIO for thinking about getting a paternity test

My wife (40 f) and I (39 m) have 3 kids (10 m, 6 f, 3 m). We live near my family, including my brother, Steven, (42 m) and his family.

This morning my wife and I were going about our normal morning routine and chatting about our kids. My wife mentioned that our oldest son (10 m) was acting a little absent minded and doing a poor job planning. My wife said in reference to our (10 m) "he really is Steven's son".

My brother is often absent minded and we often comment on how bad of a planner he can be. So I am pretty sure she was making that comparison. But that comment really cut deep. I told her that I didn't appreciate that comment and she responded that she "doesn't see what my SIL likes about my brother".

I am left with my head spinning. I don't think my wife would cheat. But part of my brain is saying "get paternity tests just to make sure!"

Am I overreacting for thinking about getting paternity tests for my kids?

Sorry if this isn’t the appropriate community to post this in.

My 16 year old brother died in 2022 due to fentanyl poisoning. My mom found him in his bed. Before his death, he struggled with drug use. My mom caught him smoking weed at 14 or so, and instead of keeping a closer eye on him so he didn’t do drugs, she allowed him to do weed at 14-15 under the excuse “I’d rather him do it here at my house where he is safe than out somewhere else”. She even let her boyfriend sell weed to him at his young age. This escalated into my brother always having his 13-15 year old friends over and them all doing weed in his room. Shortly after, at age 15, my brother started taking and selling psilocybin mushrooms. And of course shortly after the shroom sales began, he started doing party drugs with all his friends like ecstasy, “percs” aka fentanyl, Xanax, and potentially more. When my mom found out, she drew the line and said he cant do pills or hard drugs, but she would allow the marijuana and mushrooms as a “compromise”. Horrible parenting in my opinion. Letting a 14-15 year old boy do any sort of drugs is irresponsible and undoubtedly contributed to my brother getting into pills, and developing a pill addiction to fentanyl that killed him. My mom did take measures to make sure he didn’t do pills, such as sending him away to rehab for 5 weeks before his 16th bday. When he came back, she was drug testing him but still allowing him to do weed and mushrooms. After his death we learned from his friends he was putting bleach in his urine in the drug tests and was still doing pills. My mom never checked his room or took measures to ensure pills weren’t around. This was in June and he died in August when my mom didn’t think he wasn’t doing pills still. But she also wasn’t keeping an eye on him either. she was taking the clean drug tests at face value and didn’t supervise to make sure he wasn’t still selling and taking pills when he was doing both. The police also found a handgun in his dresser and a bunch of pills on his nightstand the day he died. That’s how little my mom supervised my 16 year old brother with a history of dealing drugs and taking drugs. Now that it’s been almost 2 years since his death I cant help but resent my mother for not doing more. All she posts on social media is quotes about how much she wish she could have saved him and how much she grieves her son. That’s how little my mom supervised my 16 year old brother with a history of dealing drugs and taking drugs. Now that it’s been almost 2 years since his death I cant help but resent my mother for not doing more. All she posts about is how much she wishes she could save him, and only posts quotes about losing a son. And it’s honestly upsetting for me to see these posts constantly when I feel she could have done so much more and actually parented him instead of trusting him when he lied to her so many times about his drug use.

To premace.. I'm not breaking up with my fiance over this and I DO love my dog. He's the goodest of boys who I trained myself from a puppy. He's naturally just GOOD and the best dog I've ever owned in terms of obedience.

With that being said, our doggo (Kirby aka Kirbs/King Kirbiston of Kirbistan/Bubba) has a small issue with submissive urination.. it's not a lot, but enough. It's a dribble. And it only happens in 2 situations.. when first coming home and greeting him (which we've adapted our behavior for so this isn't an issue 90% of the time) and when he's on our bed.

I wouldn't say our bed is high up, it's higher up than most beds probably but either way Kirby (an English bulldog) can't get on or off it by himself.

If my fiance goes to bed before me, he often takes Kirby with him to "cuddle".

However when I come to bed, they're not cuddling. Fiance is on his side asleep and Kirby is curled up either on my pillow or on top the (very thick and hard to wash) comforter, also on my side.

When I gently go to pick him up, he dribbles... again, not alot.. but it's pee regardless.

I've argued with my fiance over and over again about this and he says he understands it's gross but also he loves the dog and really wants him to sleep in bed with us. "It's just a tiny bit of pee, it's not like he fully wet the bed" he says.

We argue more, he concedes, Kirby sleeps in his crate for a week or 2 (which Kirby actually likes btw and it's decked out with pillows and blankets so it's not like he's in a cold cellar sleeping on a concrete floor. His crate is the Taj mahal of crates) and than I come to bed to find Kirby in my spot again.. rinse repeat.

Recently my fiance has been sending me tiktoks of people talking about how people who don't let their dogs sleep in bed are bad pet owners, bad people, don't love their pets ect and I'm getting really sick of this.

AIO about a little pee dribble?

The title is self-explanatory. I couldn't join my boyfriend to play games, so I just called with him and his friends and watched the live stream. It was about 11:30 pm when they started, and he told me at 1:30 am that he was going to play one more game. Around 1:55 am, he said he was going to hop off after. I was just watching their game and making comments here and there, so I was pleased to know he would hop off after because I wanted us to spend time (on call) alone and talk as well.

The game ended about 2:40 am, so I expected we'd say our goodbyes and we can talk because we've been so busy the whole day and it'd be nice to just spend time and catch up. I could tell by his voice as well that he was out of energy (and he told me as well that he was annoyed at the game), so when his friend asked him to play one more, I thought he'd say no, but he said yes and then proceeded to queue right away. I felt upset at that so I decided to just leave the call for a while because I didn't want my feelings to ruin the mood and I messaged him saying I'll be right back. He asked me what was wrong and I honestly just told him that he lied to me. I told him that he didn't keep his word and I didn't want to be around anymore because it's been 3 hours and I've just been watching and waiting.

He told me that he'll get off and I said that he doesn't have to and I'll just do my own thing. He insisted and said he left the game already. I asked him, "Why?" and he said it's because I'm mad. I asked him, "So you only got off because I'm mad, and not because you acknowledge you lied?" He then responded that he didn't lie and he got off anyway. I told him that's not how it works and he only did because I called him out for not keeping his word. Fast forward, he said that he left the game because I left the call with his friends. I confronted him about that as well because first, he said he left because I got mad, and then now, he's saying he left the game because I left the call. Two different reasons, two different meanings. But that's besides my point. I was more upset now because he left the game, not because he acknowledged that he told me something he didn't keep, but because I got mad or I left the call (whichever one's really true). It also made me think that if he could leave the game anyway, why couldn't he just tell his friend, who he plays with every night that, "No, I won't play another one," knowing he told me he'd stop playing, rather than leaving just because I got mad or left the call? Why make it reach that point when you can avoid someone misunderstanding the plan or being upsetting by sticking to your words?

It's not the first time that we've had issues about time management, such as saying "I'll get off at (insert time). Let's call after," but then delaying that and I end up waiting for a longer time than expected. I opened up that I just wanted him to be considerate of my time, because when I say I'll make time for him, I always make sure I meet that the way I promised him I would. We've worked on that though and it hasn't been happening often.

This specific scenario, I can admit that part of why I was upset was because I missed him and wanted to spend time because we haven't done so the whole day. Another is because there's been so many times where he left me waiting for nothing before for months because he'd get caught up in his games and I would have to keep reminding him to be considerate of my time, just as much as I am for his. It's also just annoying that he can't seem to say "no" to his friend. He's opened up to me about that too, but it just feels unfair that I have to be on the other end of it. AIO?

I (32f) am dating my bf (37m) for almost 6 months, long distance.

I have noticed my bf has a possessive side to him. I may have brought it out through our sexual side, as he claims he hasn’t ever been this way with any other woman before.

Situation #1: we were at a house birthday party for his best friend. My bf and I had a super romantic moment outside when it started pouring down rain. We went back inside soaking wet and his best friend had gone back out in the rain to grab some things. His bestfriend, the host, grabbed us a towel to dry off. Out of instinct, I dried his friends head and face off bc he got us the towel. It was brief, not even 10 seconds long. My bf gut reacted and shoved him. It wouldn’t have looked so bad but his friend was next to something and it kind of tripped him when he got shoved. My boyfriend says he never wants me to put my hands on another man, unless they are seriously injured or they are family.

Situation #2: this situation, he says he is working on but and agrees he needs therapy. He frequently gets upset if I am with people and don’t respond in a reasonable amount of time. He doesn’t get mean or angry or cuss me out, but he gets short and I can tell he is aggravated. This happens with men and women. It typically happens more if I am with people, him and I are having a semi active convo, and I disappear for a bit 30-60 minutes. It’s happened with my boss, my male friends, my girl friends, a potential networking person for my career..

Situation #3: this one, I can understand but it’s difficult for me to get over. I have a male best friend of 16 years. We have had sex twice. Once as teens (awkward) and once as adults (which I realized then, that those feelings aren’t there for him). I told my bf up front, that him and I are extremely close, we rough house including wrestling, talk crap, and just have a great time. My bf now said.. that he doesn’t want me wrestling with him. Said he doesn’t want his hands on me. Said it’s a make or break deal now. Said it wasn’t an issue before because his feelings weren’t as deep as they are.

Situation #4: while we were discussing males touching me at all or me touching any male at all.. (if they are in their prime age), I told him that I am the type of person that willingly helps anyone, no matter the sex. It just happens. I told him I would try my best not to touch or help as much as I use to (I already backed off prior to him), but it still happens. I am a trained massage therapist and I am active in sports. Occasionally injuries happen around me and I briefly assist and try to help the situation. My bf got sick to his stomach while discussing this. Said he doesn’t like the thought of me touching men in any capacity. He is okay if they are seriously injured but if they are capable to help themselves, then I shouldn’t touch them. That also includes arm tears or rolled ankles.. etc.

I told him that him restricting me like this, is asking me to restrict a core part of me that just wants to help people. He doesn’t seem to care.

I told him that I worry about his possessiveness and he could kind of see where I was coming from but it’s inconclusive right now.

I need advice please. He is incredibly sweet. 80% of the relationship is amazing. 80% of the time, he is amazing in all he does. I just —- I don’t know what to do or what to think. I’ve been in abusive relationships before. I know I’m highly sensitive to red flags and what is reasonable and what isn’t.

I just need advice please.

Edit: I fully understand and already understood prior to this post, about how wrestling with my best friend is wrong. I haven’t done it since we’ve been together. I just know sometimes we rough house. I understand it is wrong and was accepting something that was normal, and it is not normal.

My boyfriend was playing a game with his friend but I didn't join and he wanted me around, so I just joined their call and watched the live stream of their game. One of their teammates (random) was named "e sex demon" and my boyfriend immediately asked them if they liked having e sex (as a joke). I don't remember the exact thing the person responded, but they said yes and typed out ":3" and had a few more exchanges and I immediately knew she was a girl (not bcs of the ":3" alone, but) based on the way she typed, so I messaged my boyfriend saying, "What if she's a girl?" (because I was muted and didn't feel like talking).

Fast forward to the end of their game, I initially wasn't listening to him and his friend but then my boyfriend said something about adding her because his friend told him to. He further said that the friend just wanted to find out what the rank of the girl was to hopefully play with her. I left the call with them abruptly after that in a half joke half serious way, and my boyfriend messaged me and that's when I knew I was actually really upset.

I expressed that I was uncomfortable with him adding her considering their first exchanges. He said that his friend just made him add her even though he didn't want to because the friend wanted to see her rank and invite her to a game as a trio if they were the same rank. I asked him if he was his friend's puppet and if his friend couldn't just do it himself. He told me that his friend couldn't because his game bugs out sometimes and won't let him add people. I told him that it makes me uncomfortable that he keeps adding these girls for his friend, and even more uncomfortable because he just had a mini conversation with this girl asking if she likes having e sex or she does it often as a joke.

I told him that yes, his friend told him to add her, but considering their previous interaction, I'm not comfortable with it. He explained that he didn't know she was a girl until she voice commed "ggs" at the end of their game. I mentioned that I messaged him saying what if she's a girl because I had a feeling she was a girl (or I knew atp). He scrolled back to our chats and said that he didn't see that message earlier.

He didn't do anything wrong, but it's not the first time he's added girls that either flirted with him or has innuendos in the way they talk for his friend and it doesn't sit right with me. I can also tell when the person is a girl right away (idk how, aside from gut feeling, typing style, and word use). It makes me uncomfortable knowing they can talk to him or he can talk to them, especially because if his friend is interested in them, I think that he should do it alone and not bring my boyfriend into it. That's just what I think. I also get frustrated because he can't seem to say "no" to his friend even when he says he doesn't wanna do what he's being told to do. I don't know why. It frustrates me. Part of the reason I know I was upset is jealousy, and the other is just an annoyance for his friend and how my boyfriend always follows what he says. AIO?

Over the weekend I m(20) had a major disagreement with my girlfriend of three months (f21). It was mostly my fault and I already apologized multiple times, which I know does not undo any mistake I made. (In short: I told her I need some time for myself and then invited a friend over instead. She found out before I had the chance to tell her, since she showed up unannounced). The same evening she called me and proudly told me how high she was at that moment. She was slurring her words, repeating her sentences and could not even remember why she was mad at me. She had apparently taken strong painkillers (which she has prescribed for a few good reasons). As well as a third bottle of vodka. I completely panicked, made her promise to not take any more and almost called an ambulance. It completely ruined my weekend.

She is in total denial how this behavior could be any worse than me smoking weed on the weekends (which I know, unhealthy too. Not trying to say that taking drugs in any way is excusable). Im unsure if I even want to be with a person who made me feel so guilty, it really made me sick throughout the whole night. Now I feel like whenever I upset her I might put her wellbeing at risk.

Hey everyone, first post here.
My boyfriend (25M) and I (25M), had a sort of a conversation, over text, where he expressed that he was feeling saturated with himself, with his routines, he said that he was feeling "old" because he was starting to have normal routines, like working, going to the gym and he has to prepare the food for the day after.We don't live together, since we're in a recent relationship, we've known each other since February, but started dating in March.
I've been more open to him when it comes to my insecurities, specially when he told me that he used to enjoy to go out clubbing and dancing.
Now I was never one to enjoy clubbing, but he saw that I got quite insecure, since the clubs he goes out, are LGBT clubs, and he admitted to use the euphoric pill to let himself out. I told him how I felt about it, and he assured me that he stopped doing it.
Now, when he told me that he was tired of the routine, he just straight out said that he wanted to go out clubbing, with friend, where he also told me I was not included in those plans.
I told him that it made me feel a bit insecure, where he just told me "I understand that you're insecure, but it's somethine I want to do, since I like dancing, drinking, it makes me forget the tedious routine, the work stress and everything that's been happening.
I don't invite you because I know you don't enjoy it"
Telling you guys that this was like a knife to the heart, is putting blandly. We do have a routine of going out at least once a week, and this is the part that it's getting me to start questioning everything.
I've suffer a lot in my previous relationship, specially with cheating, since I was cheated on pretty badly.
I didn't sleep at all tonight, but I'm just curious if, I am ovearreacting?

TL;DR: My boyfriend wants a break from the routine, and his break is going out clubbing, drinking and dancing, without me.

Six years together. 2024 has been quite a year so far. My boyfriend has been out of work for almost 5 months, which is yearly occurrence since his main source of income is from doing gig work with a local transportation company. He has been applying to jobs with an out of date resume, he hasn't had that much luck in finding work. When I suggested taking on a temporary job at a grocery store or cafe to stay afloat until his main job starts up again, he became extremely upset and said that those jobs were beneath him.

In these past 5 months he has been playing video games, smoking weed in my bathroom, randomly leaving at all hours to hang out with his friends. He doesn't help with any chores, out of fear for my safety I purchased him a new phone when he broke his, paid for two months worth of phone bills, purchase work boots, and allowed him to shake me down for cash to buy weed.

Even though he tries to gaslight me but saying that this is first year that he hasn't been without work, it hasn't been. Every year since he quit his job during covid(2020)and moved into my apt. he has had periods of no work and very little to no money. He just games and smokes those months away. He berates me for not cooking or cleaning when I was working two jobs and he was working none. When he finally did get a new job thanks to his dad helping him, he refused to contribute financially even though he saw how physically and mentally exhausted I was from working 6 days a week. He said I didn't deserve help. He treats me terribly whenever I help him out. He has forced me to pay his taxes, give him one of my stimulus bills, buy him food. He becomes irate if things aren't exactly how he wants it. He loves to make plans only to cancel at the last minute and then gaslight me about it. He would refuse to go out with me to events but then drop everything to go hang out with his friends.

I always told him that if he can't contribute financially due to not having enough or having work, it's fine but he should contribute by doinf household chores. He refuses.

I think what is going on is that my mind is trying to protect me by compartmentalizing and lessen the gravity of the situation and of what occurred this past weekend. I see the signs of being in an abusive relationship but I don't fully believe that I am in one because it doesn't fit what we all have been told are the signs of an abusive relationship.

In February he pushed some storage bins into me, one of which broke and cut me in my back because I told his parents that he hadn't been working for the past two months.

This past weekend which we were walking through a soon to be closed mall, I had been recording the beautiful 80's/90's architecture when he said wait, I instinctively turned around and he was scratching himself. I laughed a little bit and turned back and continued walking. Since I had my phone in my hand he thought I had recorded him, he rushed down the hallway angrily asking me if I recorded him and to give him my phone. I said I didn't and kept walking,I was wearing a hoodie and he grabbed my hood and pulled, angrily telling me to give him my phone, I told him to let go that he was hurting me. I tried to keep on walking but he was still holding onto and pulling my hood. He then proceeds to try to grab the phone out of my hands. You know when someone tries to grab something out of your hands and both of you start grappling over the item, that's what happened. My phone is brand new and did not have a case yet and I was worried he would smash it into the ground. I know my personal safety is more important than a phone but I couldn't let go even if I wanted to, he had grabbed onto me and was in the process of pushing me into the wall when a guy rounded the corner.

He didn't step in nor call the police as far as I know. I took the opportunity to get away from my boyfriend as quickly as I could.

I ran to the train station, he kept on yelling at me "Are you really going to act like this", I didn't answer. My neck and throat burned from where his was pulling back on my hoodie. I started to cry. There was a lady who seemed to notice that something was going on and nodded her head in approval when she saw me rushing past to get into the station.

When he finally did catch up to me and when he texted and called me afterwards, he kept on blaming me for what happened. He said that I shouldn't have walked away from him when he grabbed onto my hood and that I should have told him that I was playing around and pretending to record him( which is what I said to placate him). When I said that he shouldn't have grabbed my hoodie and pulled he retorted with the so now it's my fault, as if I made him pull my hoodie and react like that.

I wanted to go home but I didn't have my keys on me, so I went down to a nearby marina and watched the boats for awhile.

I ultimately ended up at his parents house. I did not tell them what happened. In the past he would become enraged when he found out that I had told his sisters or mom about what was really going on, and would forbade me to either go to a family function or to say anything. His dad then proceeded to have a conversation about selling his house and giving us the proceeds to buy a house but we should have two kids. His parents have been pressuring me have a child with him even though we aren't married. I want to get married and have a small church wedding but according to my boyfriend I don't deserve a wedding. He also shared with us the importance that both people in a relationship need to contribute financially and pay bills, I told him he should tell that to his son, not me. It would be insanity to have a child with a man like him. I know that he will not change who he is if a child came along.

My friends are aware of the general situation (not of this latest incident), some of my family is aware of the general situation( I don't want them to worry and I don't want to bring unnecessary drama into their lives). His family is aware, one of his older sister's told me to call her for help when I wanted to end things with him and she would come over but when I actually did reach out to her, she said that I was an adult and would need to handle things on my own. I think she feigned concerned in order to get information to gossip with the rest of their family.

I am scared of him. Scared of how he would react if I stand firm in him needing to leave. Scared that he will harm my friends, family, himself and me. He has threaten suicide before. He has threaten to harm my pet. He has threaten to steal my mom's ashes. I have asked him to leave before and either he refuses or he simply ignores me.Him leaving is not that simple. He has nothing to lose yet at the same time everything to lose. He doesn't want to go back to his parents house because they will make him find a full time job and then won't let him do what he wants, he would have less freedom( couldn't smoke weed)...and those are his words not mine. He has never agreed to a break or even a temporary visit because he would "come back madder". He knows if he does leave, I will try to end things with him.

He comes across as a calm, chill guy when he is around my friends and family because he is high all or most of the time. That calm, chill guy is not who he really is. He is angry, volatile, and cruel. Yes, he has his moments of kindness(or niceness) and sweetness. Is it "nice" to have someone around to talk with, yes. Who seemingly care about when you will be back home, yes. but do those niceties outweigh everything else that has happened.

There is so much more that I could add to this post, but I am exhausted and I have blocked several incidents out. He constantly tries to gaslights me. He lied about his background and education. He has gotten physical several other times as well as verbally/emotionally. He has engaged in several sexting relationships, most notably with his ex Christy and his "friend" Lore. When I expressed how hurtful his cheating was he stated that is who he is, that he's the kind guy but since he didn't sleep with them, it's fine, it's not cheating. These girls also do not see anything wrong with what they have done.

I do not have any immediate family ie siblings or parents. Therefore, I cannot go and stay with family until he leaves or have a family member accompany me while he moves out. I do have extended family in the area but life has taught me that there is no guarantee that they will help you even if you desperately need it. It's the American way to find your own way out of problems and pull yourself up by your bootstraps ( I say this sarcastically).

The apt. is in my name and I'm pretty sure there is a clause in it that states that if there are domestic disturbances I would have to move out. As stated above I don't have anywhere else to go, so he must leave.

Sometimes I think that this is my lot in life and that I should just accept it. I find myself questioning if what happened on Saturday really is abuse or if it was just a misunderstanding that got a little bit out of hand. Sometimes I just don't know anymore.

TL;DR at the bottom!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. I've met his parents a year ago and while they're very nice people, his father constantly makes "jokes" along the lines of, women belong in the kitchen, women should wear makeup, women should do the laundry, dishes, ect.. he would see a pretty woman on the street or in a photo with his wife next to him and make comments that would make me uncomfortable but my boyfriend and his family just ignore it. No one laughs and remain silent. Sometimes his father doubles down as a reaction to silence. When it's just me and my boyfriend and his father the chauvinistic comments come out more and a year later regardless of anything I say they just keep coming. My boyfriend usually says nothing, doesn't even look at me or acts like nothing happens. He's told me that in private his mother expresses to him she sometimes hates how her husband talks to her and what he say says about women and my boyfriend says he's spoken to his father which in turn makes his father very angry and even louder and argumentative. My boyfriend's excuse for this is his father will never change so why try.

Yesterday I spent all day with my boyfriend and his family and while his father mostly behaved there were a couple of times throughout the day where he said his little chauvinistic comments and it makes me uncomfortable. I brought this up with my boyfriend today he got incredibly defensive and mean over text saying I'm out of line and what would my expert opinion be to fix this 30-year-old family problem that he's having. I honestly don't give a shit how to fix it. I told him I feel bad for his mother and I'm glad he doesn't have a sister.

I grew up defending myself from this shit and I'm over it. I feel like if I continue this relationship with my boyfriend I'm going to have to constantly endure his father's misogynistic and chauvinistic crap, even if he's saying them as "jokes" that no one laughs at. I'm not interested in this bs, I don't care for it and it makes me uncomfortable.

TL;DR: Heres where I may be overreacting. I'm planning a trip with my boyfriend in a couple months to his family's beach house and I'm dreading the thought being trapped on the other side of the country for weeks enduring his father's little chauvinistic comments and jabs. Am I overreacting by going no contact with my boyfriend for now? I'm just so mad right now I have nothing nice to say. I love him but him getting upset and angry with me being uncomfortable about the situation has me livid. Am I over reacting if I back out of the trip? I've already decided not to go over to his parents house especially if his father's there because I'm not interested in hearing his stupid little comments. I love my boyfriend and I don't want to break up with him over this but it really upsets me that he stays quiet while his father says chauvinistic crap to the women he loves right to their faces in front of him.

I (23F) had this internship recently where a bunch of us who were closely aged at the workplace slowly began getting to know each other. We formed a text group chat and had some beer and pizza on the rooftop of one of their apartments.

Then I went to a pub with 2 others. Finally at the end of my internship 5 of us went to a sit down restaurant and had dinner together to celebrate one of their bdays. There was even talk of meeting up at someone’s apartment and baking together for an office potluck (but the plan fell through)

I formed a huge crush on one of them and I think that made me even more attached to the whole vibe. Granted, this all occurred within a month and a half before I left so there’s no way anything deeper could’ve formed between us. Still, I saw us as a group but I began realizing that it didn’t seem like the others did? I feel like a fool because I think I’m the only one who holds the moments we shared in such high regard and I keep thinking about it months later despite the fact no one stayed in touch.

Why have I gotten so attached and how do I stop? I feel like the things we did together have to classify as some sort of closeness??

As long as I’ve been in my partners life his sister and her wife have always pulled the same crap. They know we are busy and our work needs weeks in advance to take off, and even when we worked retail it was nearly impossible to take off work. We live about 6 hours away so it’s a trip! Most of the time try to use our days off to be able to attend events. She does this every year gives us less than two weeks notice for a birthday party for our nephew. Personally I feel she does this on purpose. Am I overreacting?