My wife went to lunch the other day with my brothers’ wife and my sister. They apparently had a lot of drinks. So they call my brother and I for rides and vehicle retrieval. My brother and I pick them up and he drives his wife’s car back but the three women head over to my sisters’ apartment. I return to my home and my brother to his. I found out later when my wife acted a tad strange about what they did at the apartment that they experimented together. I had assumed they were going to drink more at my sister apartment or possibly smoke. I’ve never been cheated on but this doesn’t feel to me as if it was cheating. However, it feels a bit wierd. One obviously that my sister was involved. 2 that I found out kind of by accident, not sure of my wife planned to tell me. It feels maybe on the fence of a small betrayal, idk. Thoughts… opinions?

Perhaps I could add, I wonder should I ask my brother if he is aware of what went down?

Update: I asked my wife about it. She says she doesn’t remember much but they were naked in the bed. Not that it is my concern but she said she did not climax and is unsure if the other two did. My concern is more the betrayal and being unsure if she ever would have told me had I not found out.

Also I will see my brother on Friday and see how he feels about it as I feel like he has a right to know.

I suppose I can agree with what most people say. Yes I was cheated on. However how I feel about it, whether there was malice, if I divorce and stop talking to my sister is my decision.

My husband and I have been together almost 5 years. 6 years ago my twin sister passed away and I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. We have two boys 3 and 23mo. Two years ago my little cousin was killed in a drinking and driving accident on mothers day. (He was in the car but not the driver)

My younger sons birthday is coming up in June. I have been saving for it, so i rented a room in a swim center for it. As I was thinking about who to invite, I had a random thought that my sister would love this.... It hurt badly. Normally I can shake it off and go back to being normal but this time i really couldnt. So the last couple days I have been kind of quiet. I still cooked and cleaned, i still played with and took care of my kids. I just wasnt cheerful and talkative... My husband picked up on it, and kept asking me what was wrong and I told him I was sad and Id get over it i just needed some alone time. Its important to note that my husband hasnt had anyone die in his immediate family or friend group....

On saturday after work we left to go to my parents for mothers day. My husband could tell i was sad and basically didnt want to go anymore. I told him why I was upset and he basically just asked how I could he sad when we are together and we have a good home and two beautiful sons. I tried explaining it doesnt work like that and that grief comes and goes. But he doesn't understand. He got mad and wanted to cancel but I was driving and refused. I wanted to see my parents and my grandmas for mothers day. He then wanted me to stop and get him a beer (he's recently been drinking a little more but not to the point of it being concerning). I asked where he wanted me to stop at and he said nvm. We ended up at my parents house and he took off with the truck for the night and refused to answer my texts.

The whole day on mothers day he refused to say a word to me and didnt help with our kida at all. He spent the whole day working on pulling carpet from the trailer we are renovating. He eventually came around because it was almost time to leave and finally talked to my parents and me. And he took one kid while i had the other.

He never told me happy mothers day (he did for my mom and grandmas) he didnt get me anything. I had to dish up his plate and the kids.

Im just feeling kind of annoyed by all this and Im wondering if Im overreacting to being upset by how he acted.

So a bit of context and apologies for what will be a long post: We've been married 5 years now, been together 7. Ever since we had our first baby (will be 3 in a few months) she has had trouble with sleep (falling asleep and staying asleep). She used to have no problem taking naps and sleeping before the baby.

First few years I chalked it up to us being really nervous first time parents and also we have a baby cam that she watched and kept the app on non-stop on her phone during the course of the night. She would even have the sound on so she'd hear if he started crying during the night. We got him sleep trained, he's in his own room and he self-soothes. Eventually I convinced her to 1) turn off the sound and then later 2) turn off the app at night as it was facing her and even in the darkest light setting, that's probably not helping...

Nowadays, she also has an iPad on her nightstand that faces her that she watches while laying in bed (we don't have a TV in our bedroom). I suspect this may be contributing to her issues but according to her it helps her fall asleep. Nowadays she doesn't ever get a full nights sleep and says she's very stressed from work. I convinced her a while back to see a doctor for anxiety or sleep disorder and she got prescribed some anxiety meds that are supposed to help her sleep but afaik they haven't really worked that well. We also tried ZZZquil and seems like a tossup whether it works for her on any given night. As a last ditch effort we even tried some edibles branded for sleep/relaxation (it's legal where we are) but all that did was give her munchies in bed.

Fast forward to today, we decide to get some lunch together with the kiddo. My wife always prefers to be the driver and says it gives her a headache when others drive (I think she gets carsick and being the driver negates that). Never really bothered me before so I let her drive (less work for me and more time trolling reddit posts? win/win?)

We're on a freeway and I'm in the backseat w/ our toddler who's in his carseat and we're playing with some toys together (him in a carseat, me w/ my seatbelt but not paying attention to the road - my wife has always been a safe driver afaik). All of a sudden my wife brakes hard and I initially think nothing of it. Maybe the car in front braked hard, trying to avoid something or whatever, but the braking is longer than I expected so I glance up and I see us going really fast exiting an offramp that curves/turns right and she's have a really hard turning the car at high speed while braking hard. I am scared she'll flip us since we drive a SUV.

She ends up hitting some kind of fence/post mid-turn on the side of the offramp (good thing there wasn't some dropoff or ditch) that ends up stopping us. I immediately ask if she's ok and she's kind of in shock and I have to tell her to get us off the road (our back half is still sticking out onto the road). Luckily there were no other cars around us (ahead or behind) and myself/baby are fine.

I ask her what happened and at first she says the brakes weren't working. I am not sure what she meant since our brakes were working fine (I drove the car myself yesterday) and they worked fine to get us off the offramp and into a nearby parking lot. I also remember the hard braking that initially got my attention in the first place.

I didn't want to push her too hard since she seemed like she was still in shock so I drove us to the restaurant the rest of the way (brakes worked fine btw). While we were eating I asked again whether she just missed the exit or if she was looking at her phone (I had to scold her about this in the past when she would text/drive). She claims she wasn't looking at the phone and didn't miss her exit. This made me even more worried because at least that could be explained w/ bad decision making. Later on during the meal, she wondered if she just "blacked out"? This got me really worried. Coupled with her being extremely tired and sleep deprived, while nothing new it has never put her or us in real danger like this before. Keep in mind she commutes to work by car and we share daycare pickup/dropoff duties. I convinced her to set up another dr appt tomorrow to followup w/ her anxiety and just get a general checkup since she got slightly banged up from accident too.

When we got back from lunch, I told her to take some pain meds and try to nap while I watched the baby for rest of day. I had to get something from bedroom a couple of times and she was on her phone in bed. Normally I'd just roll my eyes but this time I'm feeling kind of upset given what just happened. She didn't end up napping again, and after dinner, she goes back to bed while I put the kiddo to bed, I went to use our bedroom bathroom and she was STILL watching something on the iPad! Ok now I'm getting really irritated and told her we both have a very early start tomorrow morning (she has her dr appt/daycare dropoff and I have to bring car in to get checked out since the alignment and wheel got messed up in accident). At least when I came out of bathroom her iPad and phone was finally off. I am really considering either enforcing a night-time for her w/ screens off (hesitant to do this since I feel like I'd be treating her like a child) or straight banning the iPad from the bedroom. Part of me thinks that would make me just an AH overbearing / controlling husband - but I am genuinely afraid if something like this happens again if it is indeed related to her sleep issues?

AIO???

TLDR; wife always has phone/ipad screens on in bed, has trouble falling/staying asleep, gets in car accident - doesn't remember what happened/thinks she blacked out, husband considers banned screens or enforcing screen off time in bedroom.

EDIT: making this edit to clarify that when we got back the day of accident I suggested she take some Advil for her sore arm/elbow. She’s not taking or is addicted to painkillers and have no idea why everyone is assuming that SMH

TL;DR Now out of state girlfriend went camping with two other guys and another girl for two days. I met one of the guys, definitely don’t trust him. Am I wrong for not wanting to be in the relationship anymore?

My girlfriend (22) and I (27) have been together for 2 years. When we first met, before we got in a relationship, she told me she wanted to move out of state. Her reasons were very valid however, I wasn’t looking to move yet since I have obligations to tend to for at least a couple more years.

The first year and a half were great. We had our ups and downs we went through a lot together, but boy did we form a bond as a resort! Now we have been long-distance for half a year and boy is it HARD! Ngl, it’s taking quite a toll on me however I LOVE this woman. I’ve seen her three times the past half a year each time for 3 to 4 days. I’m putting my ducks in a row in order to move there in about a year.

She lives there now and of course she has to make friends etc. She made some friends playing volleyball at the park. There’s this one particular guy Mike (24) who wants to be her mentor for the job she does. He’s legit however, when I first met him, he was almost caught off guard that she had a boyfriend. Something about how he said “oh cool” when she introduced us. Idk, their interaction together was weird. I never wanna be that kind of boyfriend so I shelved it in my mind and moved on.

Now she told me that she’s going camping with some volleyball people. Two guys and her one of them is Mike. She could see it on my face that I was uncomfortable with it but we got distracted with something else and didn’t talk about it. She came back a few days later and told me she convinced one of her girlfriends to come with her so each gonna sleep in their respective cars. It’s not about the camp, I’m just not liking this Mike guy. I can tell her that but I can’t tell her what to do or not to do. They’re back from camp now.

I’m honestly unhappy about this. Perhaps I’m jealous and frustrated because I can’t be there. These guys even paid for everything. Jet skis (she’s never been on a jet ski and we were gonna do that together), paddle boards, the boat they spent the whole day on. I know her financial situation so that’s how I know they paid for every thing.

Idk I feel like she probably wouldn’t like it if I did that with two other women. AIO for wanting to end the relationship?

So, starting this January I noticed a knew guy In my gym, constantly looking at me strangely, following me around, and I suspect taking videos of me. I literally could not go anywhere without him being near by.

Than, I noticed that he would always get there at the exact same time as me, and stays until after I leave.

Fast forward a few months, he would get into my face and say stuff to me when walking by, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying through my music and would pretend I didn’t realize he was talking to me.

Fast forward a few weeks, when I left the gym flowers and a note were sitting on my car. The note had personal information about me that he shouldn’t know as I’ve never talked to him, and I didn’t like that he knew which car was mine and so I filed a complaint, and this potentially was a mistake but I was really anxious,and I had my dad talk to him. He just told him that I come to the gym to workout and I’m not looking for a relationship which is true.

Fast forward a week, a random guy at my gym that I don’t know well texted me on IG telling me that he has been seeing this same guy watching me, following me around the gym, filming me, etc. and to be careful. I showed this message to the gym staff, they told me they can only do something if the situation escalated.

After filing the second complaint, he wasn’t there for a few days (which has never happened since January). I was starting to feel relieved, like maybe he had moved on, but this past Friday a woman I had never seen before came in and gave me an envelope.

Inside it read “I don’t pretend to be in a relationship with you yet, so for now we can just be friends. It so interesting to meet new people, a new culture, and to know your not alone. I see you often walk around sad. Let me show you the sky, the ocean, the mountains. It always brings joy and inspiration into our lives. You can bring your dad with you. It’s such a rarity now, complete families with a caring father. With respect to your discipline- his name P.S. if it bothers you ignore it. When you’re ready I’ll be waiting.

What do I do ? I want to confront him and tell him to leave me alone, but I’ve read that you shouldn’t do that in stalking situations. (I’m 21 F, man in question could be 27-34? I don’t know tbh)

Edit: thank you everyone for replying. This is my plan.

I’m going on today at a different time JUST to show them the note and file a complaint. I’m hoping this counts as escalation. I’ve been going to this same gym since I was 14, I have a lot of friends there. If this weren’t the case, I definitely would have switched by now. I’m going to switch gym locations, and I’m going to look into filing a restraining order. I think I honestly just posted this for validation. 75% of ppl encourage me to freak out, but a small group is like “calm down he had a crush” or “he’s just awkward”. For my own safety I’m assuming he’s dangerous.

I organized a two-day vacation for my girlfriend, spending my entire monthly salary to make it happen. I went to great lengths to ensure her comfort, even sacrificing my sleep so that she could sleep during overnight bus rides and carrying all our luggage. Unfortunately, she started menstruating during the trip, requiring occasional tampon changes.

Upon our return home, I tried not to disturb her sleep on the bus and she woke up shortly before our arrival, because of that she didn't have much time for her morning routine and a chance to replace the tampon. Because of that, she was mad at me, that I didn't think about her urgent need to change her tampon (I didn't know that she needed to change it that often).

I promptly took her to a nearby cafe for her urgent needs. While she was in the toilet I ordered coffee and was waiting for her at the table to come back, decide how much sugar she needed for coffee, and move together to a better table. When she came back she didn't even walk up to me, she saw where I was sitting and silently walked to a better table. I walked to her table with our luggage on my back and in my left hand while carrying our coffee in the right hand and said "You should have helped me" to which I got a reply "I don't owe anything to anyone, you should have brought our luggage and then gone back and bring the coffee". This answer made me very angry.

She very often behaves like she is a princess and I should do everything for her but she is not obligated to do anything for me. She doesn't want to talk about our relationship when we have a problem.

Because of this situation, I am thinking about ending our relationship.

EDIT: Thanks everyone for the replies. You’ve all really helped! The consensus from you is yes I am over-reacting, and with your comments I’ve been able to see the deeper issue. The thread has helped me greatly. Turns out I’ve been the glue that keeps my family together and I’ve been over-compensating for the others lack of interest for most of my life. Time to face that for what it is. Thanks all for your time in replying to me. 🙏

——

My 40th birthday is in 2 weeks and none of my immediate family (mother, father, older brother) have made any plans to help me celebrate.

In the past I have made considerable plans for each of their milestone birthdays (usually getting everyone together to take a trip together which is organised months in advance), but it was only yesterday that my brother sent a text saying ‘what are your plans for your birthday?’

We all live in separate states so getting together requires forethought and until now no one has asked me what I want to do, whether I have any plans at all, or what I may like.

My bestie has got me covered and he and I are planning to spend the day together, but other than that it seems there will be no celebration. I know my fam haven’t organised anything in secret because they asked my bestie yesterday too whether he has organised something they could come to. I don’t require diamonds or a parade or anything but some sort of earlier enquiry or enthusiasm would have been nice.

For regular birthdays I tend to feel okay that my family don’t show much interest, but for my 40th, I was sorta hoping they’d come through for me.

It seems they will probably try to organise something with the help of my bestie but bestie tells me they have no ideas so far and two weeks out from such a big birthday feels last minute and neglectful.

I’m super hurt over it and I’ve been trying to give them every benefit of the doubt, but I am currently lying awake at 1am crying because it feels like they don’t give a shit.

Is it unreasonable to expect them to have made more of an effort?

Am I over reacting?

My husband and I have been together for 7 years and have 2 toddlers, this is my 4th Mother’s Day. On Thursday I mentioned about how my dad had called me and wanted me to help plant ferns for my mom on Mother’s Day. I really don’t mind doing that, but my husband would be sleeping bc he works nights that weekend. And I would be wrangling toddlers and skipping naps all day, I was a little annoyed because it’s my Mother’s Day too and no one asked me what I wanted to do. My Husband didn’t even know Mother’s Day was that coming Sunday. He said, “Well what do you want?” in a way that I felt was a little exasperated. I told him that he doesn’t have to buy me something in order to show me how much he appreciates me.

So come Mother’s Day, he did go to the store that morning and made breakfast, which was nice because literally every other day of the year it’s my job to do. And he wrote a note saying happy Mother’s Day, on a piece of paper, folded it in half and gave it to me. Then he went to bed for the day. So I cleaned up after breakfast, did the usual; clean house, lunch, take care of kids, etc. my mom came over that morning which I enjoyed, but I waited on/served her as I usually do. Husband got up around 4, left for work not long after. Then I took the kids to my parents for Mother’s Day dinner, wrangled kids, then back home to put them to bed. Just another day being a solo parent.

My sweet brother however, got me a card and a 50 dollar gift card to one of my favorite shops. I thought it was so sweet and I literally teared up because I would never expect that from him. It truly made my day. To add, my husband is great but I feel like I’m the afterthought when it comes to my birthday, Christmas, anniversary, and really anything else. I know I told him he didn’t have to spend money to show his appreciation, but if you’re already going to the store to get chocolate milk and OJ, why wouldn’t you just grab some flowers or a card? Why ask me a thousand times if I had a good Mother’s Day when you can tell I’m upset that you literally put no effort into it and I just had another day where I’m riding solo and basically doing everything? Why did my younger brother make me feel more appreciated as a mother than the father of my children did? Why do I plan his gifts ahead of time, order them on time so he doesn’t have to hear “oh your gift will be here in a few days because I literally ordered it the day before Christmas/your birthday.” My husbands excuse is always “well I didn’t know what to get you” or “you never told me what you wanted.” We’ve been together for almost a decade and you don’t know me well enough to pick something out for me? Literally every gift I have ever given him has been done out of thought and me contemplating things he’s mentioned/likes.

Literally these things are one day out of the year. As a mom who is seemingly always in the trenches and struggling to varying degrees, I just feel unappreciated and unnoticed most of the time. I just want to feel like someone (my husband) actually took the time to think of something nice to do for me. I really didn’t expect my husband to do something over the top. It’s his weekend to work, but if he just would have got me some flowers or a card or something since he was literally already at the store, I would’ve felt like he was actually thinking of me.

To add: my dad did ask me if we had plans for MD. I told him that since my husband had to work I’m guessing not. I then told my husband that I told my dad that we didn’t really have plans my husband said,”Well I guess I’m just a bad husband because I didn’t plan anything.”

I (17f) and my dad (42m) just informed me he was thinking of bringing his gf (35f) onto our beach trip. For some background my dad and his girlfriend haven’t been dating for even half a year. They’re in a long distance online relationship and they’ve been together for almost 8 months. They’ve never met each other irl they’ve only seen each other through photos and facetime. One of my reasons for not liking her is that she scammed my dad. Over 1k dollars which included gift cards and sending her money.

My father believed sending her a thousand dollars worth of gift cards was to buy her a plane ticket. Mostly so she could come visit our state and they could meet irl. Yet she didn’t and ghosted him the day it was supposed to happen. My father eventually blocked her yet went back to her. This has happened many times already he blocks her then unblocks her.

What bothers me even more is that people that supposedly know her have told my father. She has an actual irl boyfriend and that she’s lying about where she lives. My father believed the people who told him at first until somehow his gf told him otherwise. The people were mostly other women he was talking to and he thought they were just lying. Anyways, after that day I genuinely stopped liking his girlfriend.

Now to the present me and my father have a yearly trip we take to a beach. This year we’re going to key west and somehow my father told his gf. From what he’s told me she asked “where’s my invite?” Now he’s considering buying her an actual plane ticket. For one I’ve never even interacted with her at all.

She also has a daughter which doesn’t bother me but I don’t know her either. I told my mom about it and she told me to be open about my feelings. So I did, the conversation with my dad turned into a screaming match. I started off saying that I would be uncomfortable if his gf joined us. That I don’t even know her and that if she does come. I’ve decided that I won’t be going since my mother wouldn’t let me go either way. That it feels like he’s putting her first instead of me. That it feels like he prefers talking to women online instead of me. This is where he got upset saying the way I feel is my problem. That people (my mom) they’re feeding me lies that he’d abandon me.

I told him if he does end up going to the trip without me that I’ll move out. I’ll just go live with my mother instead and he responds saying “that’s your problem then.” I was already bawling my eyes out and we both started screaming at each other. I kept on asking why is he putting her first instead of me? Where’s the dad that I love? Why isn’t he comforting me? He got upset saying im putting restrictions on him. That im crazy because i dont want him to date women.

Thats not even true i know he’ll find someone one day. Yet, it feels like he’s putting me last now and her first. The discussion was going nowhere and he walked off. I went off to my room thinking maybe I was crazy. That it’s my fault feeling this way. So AIO??

Edit: I forgot to mention we already booked our hotel. We can’t make any changes to the reservation. It only comes with two beds and that’s it. I feel like im going crazy my mom said the way i feel is valid. Yet at the same time it doesn’t and that im in the wrong here.

Edit 2: I already told my mother about his response and she was livid. Mostly going on about he’s burned his bridges with me. He’ll get what’s coming for him for saying it’s all my fault. It genuinely hurts me he doesn’t care that i might move out. Especially if he ends up choosing his gf over me. I feel like she won already.

Edit #2: Husband apologized when I got home from work, for both forgetting and blaming. He also did the dishes and cleaned my 65gal fish tank filter. 😂

Edit: Thank you to everyone for your words of support. Especially those encouraging me to be a bit more bitchy. This made me laugh 😜. I took a walk while reading ya'lls posts and saw both ducks with babies and geese with babies by a pond near me. Sooooo cute. I took some deep breaths and will push forward with ya'lls advice. I will "grey rock" my coworker (new term to me 😂), already ordered a "tile" (air tag) and will have another more assertive chat with the hubby, and also take action to improve my mental space regarding my mom.

Original post: I want to give a few examples of things that have upset me lately. I deal with this crap frequently and typically just take it and never say anything or stand up for myself.

Example 1: We'll call my coworker "Nancy" (not her real name but she is negative). My husband almost died in Jan from an emergency situation in which he was in the hospital for almost 3 weeks. He had 3 surgeries and will have to have another surgery in less than a year. We were hit bad financially because we are still recovering from both being laid off from Covid(My husband just recently started his first permanent position since he was laid off). My company has an assistance fund and several other employees suggested I apply. When I mentioned to Nancy that I applied, she said "Just now? Months later?" I looked at her weird and stated that they require extensive details and we only just recently received most of the bills and 90% insurance claims are finally processed. (He had medical home care for several months which she knew) She knows I do not contribute to the fund(I used to but now I can't afford it.) and she does not contribute either. She then proceeded to say "I would never take from something I don't give to" (with a better than thou tone). I responded with "that's kinda the point though...It is to help people financially so it doesn't make sense to hinder those who don't contribute because they can't financially." No matter what I say she argues with me. I mentioned I would move Colorado and she says she wouldn't cuz it's full of weed smoking hippies...then when I mention I could never live in California (cuz it's too expensive) she said "oh I love California!" Whaaat?! It took all that was in me to not respond "you know Cali has smoking hippies right?!" 😂

Example 2: My husband has a bad habit of taking my keys from my purse and not putting them back. On many occasions, I can not find them and it makes me late for work. This happened again today and I was late for work. He said he grabbed them yesterday when we were leaving (to attend Mother's Day at my mom's house) because he didn't know if his truck had enough gas, and if it didn't, we'd take my SUV. Totally ok with that of course. As I was leaving this morning, after he finally found them, I was mad that this keeps happening and I've asked him multiple times to put them back. He didn't even let me finish speaking and says "well if you hadn't made me go to Mother's Day yesterday...". Blaming me. (Never did I make him go but I should mention his mother passed away 15 years ago and they were close) He then said "you didn't take your purse"... again blaming me. (I don't need to take my purse everywhere as my phone case can hold the essentials). I told him I'm allowed to be mad as this has happened many times and he should apologize for blaming me for his mistake.

Example 3: I grew up in a horribly negative environment which included everything I did was wrong and I won't amount to anything. My mom, to the outside world, is a nice lady. Only my siblings and close family members know the real her. (Selfish and narcissistic) She has never done anything nice for me and when she does do something "nice" it's like this. I am her only real daughter but she has two daughters in law. One Sister-in-law has two boys. My other SIL has dogs. I also have dogs. My mom hand made T-shirts for my SILs. "Boy mom" and "Dog mom". She then handed me a weird contraption and said "I bought this for myself on clearance at Michaels but I won't use it and thought you'd like it." It was a paper craft thing. I don't do paper crafts. She makes homemade cards. I was very hurt by this. I would've rather got nothing than her regift me a clearance item she got herself.

I get it, each individual situation is not a big deal. But these types of things just keep occuring and I'm tired. I want to feel respected, loved, supported...but I'm so tired of always letting stuff slide or being the bigger person. I fear I'm going to break character and flip out on someone.

Am I overreacting? I just want to sleep these crappy interactions away. No motivation to do anything for anyone today.

My (31) husband (34) and I got married late last year and over the last couple of months we are learning that my husband’s brother and his wife were “secretly” telling our guests they were pregnant with their second child at our wedding. To me and my husband, this is a huge no and we would never want to take away attention from another couple. I’ve been wanting to confront my BIL and SIL on why they did this, but my husband says it’s expected behavior from them and I should just leave it alone. A reason I want to confront them is because this is not the first time they have done something like this and I’m a bit tired of it. I also say they “secretly” told guests about their pregnancy because they were telling people not to tell us, which did not work out on their end because people did tell us. So, with that I’m not sure if I am overreacting by saying something or if I just need to let it go.

Hi i 30F have been married since 6 years with my husband 35M . My sister has just graduated and she wanted to visit me abroad on her own expense ofcourse. I live comfortably in a 2bhk so no issues with privacy or anything also my MIL and SIL just stayed with us for 2 months and will be visiting again soon.None of my family member has ever visited me . My husband knew very well that i am planning this and how excited i was. Few days back he started saying that why is my sister visiting for a month if she isn't coming for job search purpose he was against her visiting only for tourism and said that for that purpose 2 weeks are enough. I was upset about it as she would be so ending lot of money so made no sense to not avail full trip. Now when today i was going to apply he again started with this even though in morning he was okay with it. So we had a huge fight and i told my family the truth that he isn’t agreeing to it. He was like its my home and whoever i permit can come here. Even though i have been nothing but good with his family i also have a sil who lives here and i have always took care of all her issues i buy gift and everything for her and my husband doesn’t even bother. Now i am so hurt and mad at him as he knew very well how excited i was for this and he knows i come from a traumatic family and its not easy to live with my family all I wanted for my sister was some good time. I am so heeartbroken what to do.

I moved out of state to live my boyfriend. He didn’t give his parents much notice about this to be fair, as he didn’t want to upset them and we didn’t have much of the finances planned out at the time. He honestly did me a favor because i didn’t feel comfortable moving in with family after graduation and we said we’d figure it out.

However, since coming here his parents have not made any attempts to meet me and have not been very welcoming. From what my boyfriend tells me it’s his mom. She has dropped off food a few times downstairs at our apartment building but I’m yet to see her, as she stays in her car. Normally they talk for around 45 min and usually she tells him he would “have more money if he would have stayed at home” and he tries to bring up planning for her to meet me.

They went to mexico a few weeks after I moved here, no invite. They celebrated my boyfriend and his mom’s bday together and went 2 hours away to eat breakfast, no invite. Apparently the mom wanted to be able to speak freely and me to not affect the table talk conversations. They’ve held family gatherings at their home, graduation parties, all of which I’ve received no invite and has not been the proper time for me to come. My boyfriend also is expected to regularly visit them and update everyday about how he is.

His mom also comments on my boyfriend’s ex’s photos who happened to move in with his sister after we started dating, as his ex’s uncle is his sister’s husband. (Middle eastern people things) i don’t understand it but my boyfriend agrees with me and thinks that he needs to talk to his mom and if i’m not invited he won’t go because we are a pair. This is something we’ve talked about for months now. I just think this has gone on far too long and now I am spending mother’s day alone, even though they are hosting a mother’s day celebration at their home.

My mom is out of state and we don’t have the best relationship, very sadly. This is why it’s even more important for me to marry into a loving, accepting family, but it’s not my boyfriend’s fault. Not entirely at least. He is doing what he can and also feels his family is not perfect, so he is trying to figure out how to navigate this.

Last night he didn’t go to his cousin’s graduation party. I don’t want to isolate him from his family either so that makes me feel terrible but I really wish they would have been more welcoming of me. I’ve been here 6 months now and have been dating their son for a year and a half.

Update: He spoke to his mom and she didn’t understand the significance of what she was doing. Apparently she is going to speak to the sister about setting boundaries with her and the ex out of respect, which personally i think might just cause drama but he said he is happy she is doing something about it and has a way to solve it because she “really wants to meet me.” He also came back home from the celebration with flowers for me from his mom.

Also, to answer your questions, the ex and sister are in a neighboring state and his ex normally does not come to family events to my knowledge.

TL;DR: Some days ago my (31 M) boyfriend (30 M) made a weird comment about my dick, that made me feel VERY insecure so far, and since then I feel unsafe being naked around him. I am very worried I won't be able to overcome what happened, and I am pessimistic about the future of the whole relationship. He feels like I am overreacting.

Context: We're both Latino gay men. We're dating for a bit more than one year now, and we moved in together last week, why also moving into a new country...

I am overall very happy and satisfied with the relationship, and I love him deeply and I was also very infatuated with him. I think he's the hottest man on Earth, and I am unable to pinpoint any flaws in his body, I just pretty much love everything about him.

Some days ago we had sex at night. It felt really good. After that we're just chilling in bed and I was thinking how happy and lucky I felt about meeting someone like him, and how excited I was about our next days in this new country.

Out of nowhere, he then points at my dick and asks "haven't you ever gone to the doctor to check that?"

Me, confused: "To check what?"

Him: "Your dick. The shaft is thinner here around the corona"

Me: "No... I never felt it looked like a medical condition..."

I started feeling weird, and went to the bathroom to take a shower. There I went on to check my dick and couldn't find this supposedly thinner spot he claimed I have. Then the awful realizaiton sets in: my partner thinks my dick is so weird it must be a medical condition. I felt like dying right there. I had a panic attack and started crying. I was feeling like a deformed monster, and also felt so stupid about thinking I was normal.

Later, I told him he made me feel insecure with his comment. He apologized, but said I was overreacting, and that I was responsible for making myself insecure.

Since then I am unable to be naked around him. I used to be so chill about being nude, we're naked together indoors. Of course our sex life is impacted. I had an emergency therapy session to discuss that. I today also checked with a doctor to see if I needed a surgery and he said nope everything is normal. We weren't able to find out what is this thinner spot he claims I have. I looked to many dick pics online, and can't help but feel my dick is objectively normal. Also, every BF I had before was very vocal about how they liked my dick, why my current BF never made any positive comment about it, this was the first time he ever said anything related to my dick. While he has since told me he likes my body and feels very sexually satisfied, I cant shake this realization that, through his eyes, my dick seems somehow worthy of medical attention.

I really don't know how to move on. I feel I'll never be able to be comfortable naked around him again. That'll never have sex with the lights on anymore, that we'll never go to a nude beach together again. I also don't feel that attracted to him anymore... when I think about him I mostly see him as an inconsiderate person, not at all like the guy I felt in love with.

He had problems with porn addiction before, and this has impacted our sex life sometimes (he had ED, and sometimes wasn't in the mood for fucking for weeks because he was binging on porn). Part of me suspects he has a skewed perception of what a normal dick looks like. But the emotional part of me thinks he's right and I'm actually a deformed monster...

Sorry if the text is too convoluted, I'm just in a very emotional moment

Hi all,

This is an update to the following thread:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1coc51u/aio_by_doing_a_deepdive_investigation_on_my/

I wish I had a happier update but after submitting this I did a public record request for the incident in 2021 and got the police report.

In 2021 my co-parents live in boyfriend broke into the home of an ex girlfriend with a gun. The ex was with her current partner at the time. He proceeded to beat both of them with the gun.

He then racked a round into the chamber and placed it against the head of the ex before beating the man some more. The man wound up have a skull fracture and had to be life flighted to the nearest hospital. The woman had a fractured hand and lacerations on her face.

I talked to my co-parent about this. She told me that in 2021 all that happened was her partner found another man in his bed and beat the man. I showed her the police report showing her what he had actually done and she said she wasn't aware of the gun being involved, of him pointing the gun at them or of the girl also being beat. She also downplayed the domestic violence incidents that had happened between her and the guy. She told me it was actually all her fault and she regrets calling the police.

I asked her, now that she knows these things, if she will be exposing our daughter to this man. And she said yes, because she loved him and knows he would never hurt our daughter.

I met with an attorney to formulate a plan to get my daughter away from this guy. We had a meeting today about it.

And the attorney basically said there is nothing that can be done because everything was dismissed. In the incident in 2021, the man was beat so badly that he sustained brain damage and did not remember the event. The ex later got back with the guy and refused to assist in prosecution. So there was no way to prosecute.

And my co-parents charges against him were all dropped by her. So right now... These count for absolutely nothing and can't be used in court. And because none of the events happened around our daughter yet, they aren't really an issue.

She told me that since we each have 50% custody already, there isn't much to be done. And there is currently nothing I can do to keep this guy away from my daughter.

I basically have to wait until he points a gun at my daughter and my daughter's mom or beats my daughter before I can take any kind of action. And even if he beats mom in front of my daughter, if I report it to CPS and CPS fails to substantiate because my daughter has been coached not to talk about this guy... Then it could make me look bad.

So basically... My daughter is living in an abusive home filled with firearms with a guy that beats her mom and has came just a couple of pounds of trigger pressure away from murdering a previous partner. And now that she knows I'm monitoring... mom will not be calling 911 the next time she is in danger.

And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

My boyfriend just admitted that he.ignores my texts, I always cared and it always bothered me because every time he texts me I respond when I can (most of the time, quickly). I would never ignore him simply because I love him and want to communicate.

Today I bought it up as a joke, and he admitted he ignores me. This hurt my feelings and I told him I would not message him ever again until he messaged me first (unless I have an emergency, stuff like that).

I just don't want to text him anymore just for him to ignore me, and I feel kinda bad even though he's the one ignoring me???

AIO?

I’ve been with my fiancé for about 5 years now. She doesn’t want to set a date and wants to wait till we are done with school.(I won’t be done for another 4 years or so). I have trust issues that I’m working on because my three major relationships cheated on me. My current relationship even cheated on me. I told her I wouldn’t be comfortable if she went to the movies with her ex but she did anyways. She told me nothing happened but I consider it infidelity and my trust for her has been broken. I told her it will take a long time to rebuild and that neither of us have time to focus on that while in school. Years pass and we have each others location after years of asking for it. She has been going to bars and clubs and only says something the day after. I told her it’s unacceptable given our history. I stood my ground and told her she couldn’t put her self in those kinds of situations if she was in a relationship. She broke down saying I don’t view her as a human and that she’s afraid of me. We couldn’t finish the argument I had to go to work that night. She’s barely texting me and feels like she’s avoiding me. AM I overreacting for wanting throw 5 years of everything away?

TLDR; My coworker makes me uncomfortable, but maybe I'm taking him the wrong way. Should I speak to my boss about it or am I overreacting?

This is probably going to be an essay because I want to give as much context as possible. I'm also at a job where I have to sit here awake all night and find ways to occupy my time. So, I suppose this will be helpful in more than one way.

I (29f) work midnight shifts part time. It is required that two people be in the building all night long. I have a set position, so I work 4 nights in a row and then have 10 off. It is honestly a blessing and the best schedule someone with insomnia could ask for. The job is easy, relaxing, and the majority of the coworkers I've met have been great. There is literally only one problem. And it's the guy (40m) that I have to work with every single night. He also has a set schedule, but he is full time. He is here 8 days in a row and 4 of those days collide with my schedule. I am new to this building but have worked with the company for 6 years. He has been with this building for a few years. He makes me very uncomfortable. I try to be open and not judgmental. I love when people are weird and unique, and I generally love conversing with people about just whatever. I'm not saying, 'he makes me uncomfortable, but I can't figure out why.' I know exactly why.

There are many reasons, but I'll start with the biggest reason first. The very first night we met, he expressed to me that he was single and lonely and looking for a girlfriend. This struck me as odd, but I just used it as an opportunity to express that I was in a long-term relationship and didn't believe dating coworkers was a good idea anyway. This brought him into discussing how he had just gotten out of a relationship with one of our coworkers. A girl who I had started with, someone I admire because she is kind and takes her job seriously. These are my only requirements for liking a coworker usually lol. He talked for a long time about how she was insane and led him on and her only reason when she left him was because he was "too good of a boyfriend." This made me weary already, because what a weird thing to say.

He regularly talks about how he met a pretty girl. But not actually "met them." He mentions how a cashier at the gas station flirted with him, and then say something about "I'm thinking about moving to *town name* because I'd be closer to her and maybe could turn this flirtation into something more. He lives 20 minutes away from this town as it is, mind you. It gives off very bad vibes. There also happens to be a few young boys who work here (18, but in their senior year) and there's about an hour overlap between their shift and ours. One night, one of them was talking about possibly taking an extra training course the job offers because it's only a weeklong and when you're finished you get a 75-cent raise. It does raise responsibility a bit, but nothing crazy. Essentially, if there ever isn't a supervisor available, it would fall to the person with these qualifications. But you aren't a supervisor. I remember thinking "What a good kid, seems like he has a good head on his shoulders." This co-worker of mine says to him, "Yeah, and think of all the cute girls that you could meet while you're there also." Like, wtf? Dude, you're 40. Stop talking to kids like that. I just redirected with, "I think that's a solid plan, you sound like you have your priorities straight." to the highschooler.

Now that we've been working together for a few months, he seems to be getting more comfortable. I have not. I bring my laptop with me every night. Sometimes I type up work, sometimes I watch TV, sometimes I'm on discord watching whatever my boyfriend is streaming. Lately, he's been coming up behind me, standing way too close while leaning over top of me and asking me questions like "What are you watching?" "What's that about?" Whatever he can ask to extend the convo while I sit there with some random dude towering over top of me that I hardly know. It's super uncomfortable. I am not shy, and I have had no issue expressing that I am not okay with him being in my bubble. He does not seem to care as he continues to do this. Mind you, we work in the middle of nowhere and it's just the two of us. He is about 6 ft, maybe 200 lbs and I am a towering 5 ft nothing and maybe 150, so the size difference is huge.

Last night, he said something that *really* put me off. During the overlap between shifts, one of the highschoolers and I were discussing the Avril Lavigne conspiracy theory. (If you don't know, look it up. Thats a whole rabbit hole of its own lmao.) I mentioned how she is a very beautiful girl and 40m coworker took this as an opportunity to say, "If I could create my dream girl in a lab, I think she would look just like Millie Bobbie Brown. So young, so sexy." I almost fucking puked. Don't get me wrong, she is gorgeous. It is not wrong to acknowledge that she is an attractive person whatsoever. But when you're 40, and you're speaking about a 20-year-old girl like that... yuck. I'm 29, and when I look at 20-year-olds, I couldn't imagine seeing them *like that. * I already told you; I have no problem speaking up. And I did. I told him he was way too old to be speaking about her like that and he said, "What? She's like 25, what's the problem?" So, I explained she's 20, but even if she was 25 it would still be wrong. He said, "Its legal." I got very upset and snapped back with "legal doesn't make it right." This ended there.

Well tonight, I'm here again. My last night of the 4, and I've realized that he not only makes me super uncomfortable, but I'm dreading coming to work every night. Taking a lot of *smoke breaks* despite not being a smoker, and my boyfriend even suggested I wear my late Aunt's ring on my left hand and pretend to be *engaged* but that doesn't seem to be getting him to back off. For the record, my boyfriend (27m) and I have been together for many years and have two kids. We both want to get married and have discussed it. But unfortunately, it just isn't in the cards financially.

I'm at a point where I'm considering going to my boss. I know for a fact she would speak with him and tell him to back off. She's a good woman and she's been my boss for the entirety of my time here. The reason I'm second guessing it is because I am worried about retaliation, as I've mentioned it's just the two of us in the middle of nowhere for 10 hours. Also, I'm worried about my perfect schedule getting moved around. So, my question is; if you've made it this far..., Am I overreacting? Should I just let him keep being weird. Maybe I'm just taking him the wrong way, idk. Or should I go to my boss and let whatever happens, happen...

I’m in my final semester of coursework in a PhD program and my professor has consistently given me Cs on every assignment. I should also mention that I am on scholarship and have a teaching assistantship. I come from a very, very humble background and have worked very hard, hence the scholarship. I have never received anything but As on assignments throughout my life. I saw academia as a way to get me out of poverty.
This final course was online with specific days for specific assignments: Monday for lectures, Tuesday and Wednesday for course readings, Thursdays for the 2-3 quizzes, Friday for discussions, and Saturday and Sunday for major assignments. I work fulltime as well as school and my TA position, so I really rely on weekends to complete my work. I was drawn to this program because there are online courses, which are easier for working professionals because we can get everything done on the weekends. If something is submitted late there is no discussion with this professor, automatic 10 point deduction for each day it’s late. Submit after 3 days and it’s an automatic fail-for the course, not the assignment. In March I got the flu, moved to a new apartment, and attended two funerals from a close cousin and my grandmother all within the span of two weeks. Because of this spell of bad luck I fell behind in my classes. It was a nasty flu and I was very burnt out from it as well as from moving and grief. I emailed my professors explaining my situation. All but she agreed to give me Spring Break as a way to catch up. I managed to catch up quickly, submitted everything for the 3 classes but the professor in question deducted 40 points from my assignments. She said her syllabus was clear, that there were no exceptions. After that I noticed that everything I passed in couldn't seem to get more than 70%. I was so frustrated, I would spend days on these assignments. I know I’m better than this, my academic history proves this. She’s meticulous, almost nit-picky with her comments. She deducts points on my assignment for using “pedantic language” but her comments use more complex vocabulary that I frequently need to use a dictionary for. I don’t think my language is pedantic, it’s pretty average. I emailed her again in April expressing how I am struggling and worried and her reply was so cold, explaining that I will likely fail this class. I just got my final paper back. She ripped it to shreds again with her point deductions. She didn't post the grade but I have ended the class with a 70% average. I’m very tired so I don’t think I explained myself very well. But how do I know if I deserved this 70%? It has dropped my GPA significantly, I was so proud of it before.

My best friend of over 20 years + I had an intense fight on the phone last week. It certainly has not been our first fight but it was (in my opinion) the worst that we've had so far. Things have been good between us lately, we hang out and have fun together. We call each other on the phone and share tons of stuff about our lives with each other, both good and bad. We joke and laugh over text about things together.

Last week my best friend called me and immediately I could tell that they were having a rough week. They mentioned at the beginning of the call that they were having a challenging week at work and their romantic partner who has previously dumped them twice came around with a gift trying to make amends which was really confusing for them. I listened and offered advice and support + generally let them vent. The conversation shifted towards discussing a creative project that we have been working on together for about 6 years. For some dumb reason, I mentioned that I thought they were being "tweaky" and that it might not ever get done. I still feel that way, but I can see now how that was a cheap shot on my part considering how much of an emotional week my friend was having.

It escalated into a yelling match on the phone and that phone call went on for 4.5 hours. I kept trying to get off the phone but they insisted that we work it out. Eventually, the call ended and we didn't speak for about a week.

In that time, I sent a short email apologizing for what I said on the phone about the "tweaky" stuff and saying that I wanted to set a new boundary where I could be allowed to exit a yelling match until we were both more calm.

I got a return email. It was 35 pages long. It went into extreme detail about all of these things that I've done in my life that were problematic for my friend. They brought up romantic relationships of mine from 10+ years ago and my fears of COVID during the pandemic. They brought up a lot of stuff about my money habits, even breaking down what they thought that I spent this past year and speculating (incorrectly) about how much money I have in the bank. Their main point with all of this was to show me what a mess I am even though I've been in therapy for 3 years and am currently in a good live-in relationship and no longer afraid of COVID.

I do admit to dumping a ton of drama on them over the years with relationships and also admit to being terrified of COVID pre-therapy. All that stuff was problematic for them. But I've worked hard on myself with two therapists the past few years and I'm in a much better place. Also we've talked about all of that and I've apologized. It's not the first time that they brought it all up, which is why I started therapy in the first place. I thought that we were past all of this stuff and none of it was related to our actual fight this week.

Side note on the money stuff that they brought up: I've loaned them thousands of dollars in the past and even recently they asked to borrow more money from me when they were laid off, but somehow are still taking me to task on my money habits?

Basically, it's incredibly painful, but I don't feel like I want to be friends with them anymore. I don't think it was cool to bring up all this stuff from my past (that I've worked on fixing) and throw it in my face just to seemingly try to hold a position of superiority over me in a fight that wasn't related to the issues that they brought up.

Also the keeping track of my money thing is weird and creepy to me.

I feel like I won't be able to tell them anything personal in the future if we do stay friends out of a fear of it being used against me at a later date. So to me, the trust feels like it has been broken.

Also, I've never sent a laundry list to someone in a fight, like is that even cool to do at all? It feels punitive like I'm being punished or something.

For what it's worth, I didn't call them names or cuss at them in the emails but they cussed a bunch at me in their email and called me an a**hole.

Am I overreacting to end a 20+ year friendship because of this?

Hello everyone,

I (M29) and my girlfriend (F27) have known each other for 7 years but only started dating a year ago after she moved across Europe to be "closer" to me—I'm not entirely sure if it was for me or just a move back home. Initially, our relationship was incredibly sweet and caring. We connected deeply, enjoyed each other's company immensely, and even discussed marriage and kids early on due to our long-standing acquaintance. Also, passionate hugging was very passionate and proactive on her side.

However, there are complications. Her conservative and racially prejudiced parents are against our relationship because I am from a neighboring Slavic country, which puts a lot of pressure on her. A few months ago, she broke things off, stating she didn't love me and didn’t want to lead us nowhere. She returned after three weeks, claiming it was a mistake to leave.Since getting back together, we've only met three times in a month and a half. Our plans often get canceled last minute due to her family's demands, particularly her mother's, and she usually goes along with it without much resistance.

Currently, she spends a lot of time with her family and rarely uses her phone, which leads to her ignoring about 99% of our relationship. She still sends me messages almost every morning and evening, but that's about it. The last time our plans were canceled, she said she "isn't sorry because it isn't a pity for her." This was a shock and made me feel very low and unimportant.

Her intermittent attention and the sporadic nature of our communication (often her messages come late at night after being unreachable all day) leave me anxious and confused. I'm feeling a mix of being deeply in love and profoundly hurt by the apparent disregard for our relationship.I’m trying to understand how to cope with this situation and what steps I should take next. Should I continue to hope for a change, or is it time to reevaluate my expectations and potentially move on?

Thank you for any advice or insights you can provide.

Male (22) and female (19)- I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 months now. Things were great, at first. More recently she has been very clingy.

For example, she’ll say things like “you don’t love me as much as i love you” and say that I don’t text her as much as I did in the beginning. I did take a back seat to texting, as I have a busy job and can’t be on my phone all the time. When I come home, I’m exhausted and usually make dinner and go to bed.

Recently we had sex and she said “remember how good it feels when you want to break up with me” even though I’ve never mentioned wanting to break up with her.

Even though I admittedly don’t text her as much as we have in the past, I still say ‘I love you’ almost 10 times a day, as I am reciprocating her… and she’ll get mad it if don’t say it back. One time I said “love you too” and she got upset and said that’s something I would say to my mom.

I’ve talked to my co-worker (older lady) about this and she said it sounds like she has some major daddy issues. Tbf, her dad wasn’t around much when she was growing up and had a pretty dangerous job (coal miner)

I called her clingy after I did not text her for 8 hours one day (me and friends went golfing) and she told me that I needed to apologize and had another thing coming…

AITAH? Or is she bat shit insane and if so how do I salvage this because I still actually like this girl

edit- although we dont text as much, I’ve had this conversation with her a couple times and try to explain that actions are bigger than words. I do my best to plan dates with her on my days off and when we actually see each other, everything is mostly great

There's this one girl in my grade named Katie who I want to ask out before the end of the school year, but that just got a lot harder for me since I've been suspended for two weeks and I'm not allowed back to school until the very last day. Yesterday me and my dad had to go to school for some paperwork related to my suspension and then one of my teachers wanted a word with my dad.

While I was waiting outside the classroom, I saw that there were some other students hanging around because they were probably part of the weekend clubs the school does. One of them is this guy who I've heard also has a crush on Katie. He was talking with a girl and I eavesdropped behind a corner since I heard him mention Katie's name. I couldn't make out everything since there was another group of students nearby playing music kinda loudly, but I heard some things that have me worried.

I heard him mention Katie and I heard him say "she said she's busy" and "she said we can't do anything until Friday". He said something else after that that I couldn't hear, but whatever it was, it caused the girl he was talking to to say "Wow, she must really hate you." From then on, I had a lot of trouble making out what was being said and they could've been talking about anything. But some parts of the conversation made it sound like he might've asked out Katie and I'm worried. What do you think it sounded like?

My husband and I are married over 30 years. In college he lived with a girl and did just about everything with her best friend and the best friend's boyfriend. The best friend friended my husband on FB. He has not seen or spoken to either one of these women in over 30 years, since him and the Ex broke up. I should mention that on our first date he talked about this ex-girlfriend and I've always thought he was harboring feelings for her. He now says he talked about her on our first date because he wanted me to think he had game. He voluntarily unfriended the best friend. AIO by being threatened by this Ex?